Supernova

Chapter One Hundred and Three - Thank You All For Everything

School made me shaky. Private tutoring was a million times worse. I couldn't look anyone in the face, least of all Aizawa. I had never once been this riddled with anxiety. I'd never had any reason to fear anything. I had so much to fear now.

As I got ready for the party in the guest room I'd been using at the Stronghold manor, I wondered if I'd gained the ability to feel shaky. I kept looking at my hands, wondering if they were shaking, only to find no, they were steady as ever. Still, something inside of me that I could feel in some non-sensory manor was vibrating. I was sure of it.

The Stronghold security system had been freshly disabled and my necklace sat in a small dish of other jewelry Elias had bought, hiding inconspicuously in a lump of chains. I was checking it often enough as not to miss it should it start to glow, but seldom enough so that idiot Elias wouldn't notice. I doubted he would. All he was doing was sitting on the bed, watching me slowly brush my hair as I killed time, showering me with his irritatingly pleasant compliments.

The endless barrage of my love statements were easy to ignore when my head was filled with my own prayers of please, Melanie.

Eventually, even idiot Elias became impatient with me, gently telling me that I looked lovely, he'd never seen me look lovelier in fact, but we were going to be late if I took much longer. He was right. I let him zip the back of my dress up and fasten my bracelet, and when I dug the necklace out of the bowl and looped it over my head. For the first time since receiving it, I didn't tuck it into the front of my shirt. There was no time left to hide behind. For better or worse, tonight was the night.

Elias continued to ramble on about how beautiful I looked and how excited he was about showing me off at this party, and the party in general the entire drive there, but I barely heard any of it. I felt a million miles away. I'd never been a fiddler. I suppose that shouldn't come as any surprise. But as my fingers gently moved the pendant back and forth on the chain, I had suddenly become one.

I was very nervous.

The drive wasn't long, but every second was excruciatingly painful. I kept sneaking glances at Elias' watch too, and I knew that with every tick of the fastest hand that my necklace wasn't glowing, my hope was fading and the metal taste in the back of my throat was getting worse. I hadn't given Melanie an exact time, but the original plan had hinged on her showing up at our house while I was still there. So I could help her. So we could help each other. She might have found this new life and persona that she claimed to be happy with, but I knew the truth. If she showed up at a ghost image of our family home and came face to face with our father, she would need the help. She'd never been half as vicious as me, still wasn't, and even I'd needed help against him.

Oh well. I decided not to give up hope yet. But when the car pulled up at the gates of the UA campus, I was nearly there.

Inside, the path was already pretty dark. I had wasted a lot of time, apparently, and we were most certainly going to be late. However, it seemed Elias didn't care as much as he had back in the guest room. I lost my footing as I was suddenly jerked back. It put me in panic mode, but I found he'd just stopped walking without letting go of my hand. When I looked at him, he was smiling that almost-Elias smile that made me want to scream and cry all at the same time.

"Cassie?" he said.

Not quite Nova, but quite the refreshing change from my love.

"Yes?" I asked.

He pulled me closer, and I thought, okay, whatever, here we go. Let's get this stupid little lovers moment over with and go to the party that very well might be my absolute undoing. But he didn't kiss me. Instead, he pulled me close enough until our noses were almost touching but not quite, the way we used to when we shared secrets. I wondered if that's what we were doing now.

"I love you," he told me.

I had to fight off a sigh. "I love you too."

"I always have," he said.

"I know."

"And," he said, but then he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead into mine. Very, very bizarre for idiot Elias indeed. "I've always believed in us."

"Okay," I said, trying to sound sentimental, when really, I was just so, so sad.

"Because I've always believed in you," he then said, opening his eyes.

It chilled me. Genuinely. I felt the cold pressing into my forehead, and I could feel it on the hand he was still holding. He reached his free hand to my cheek, and this too, I felt.

"I've not known a greater honor than being your partner," he said.

Partner.

Not husband.

This would work, I told myself adamantly inside my head. This night would be my perfect victory and I would show everyone the sheer stupidity of standing against me. I could will it into existence. I was the exception to the rule. Every rule.

I was so convinced of this, I lifted my own face to kiss Elias. I was so sure that if I did this, something would break and then mend itself, that I would pull away to find my necklace glowing and I could take care of my part of the plan right here and walk into the party with my hostage in one hand and my mask in the other. When I kissed him, I felt it, and it was once again different than I'd ever known. Colder, and also worse.

And adding insult to injury, when I pulled away, the pendant was still a quiet silver against my chest. Elias looked happy though, and I continued to hold onto my hope. I glanced once more at Elias' watch and decided I would not give it up yet.

By the time we'd made our way up to the building and arrived at the party, my hope was lost. The soft deadline had come and gone, and Melanie had either tried and failed, or given up on me and not bothered.

I was going to start puking soon; that much was obvious. I had been so ready to win. I had been so used to it. I wasn't aware how disappointed I'd be, and I hadn't been ready for how debilitating it would have been. I retracted all the effort I'd been putting into branching my sensory perception into the world and shut myself off from that part of it entirely. Elias didn't notice a thing, and he was thrilled and pleasant when we walked into the dorm room common space that had once been mine, filled with people that never again would be.

Nobody was thrilled to see me, but I could see Kiri watching me with all of the diligence that I'd been watching the necklace all night, albeit with none of the subtlety. I didn't have a moment to give him any indication of what was to come, not that I would of, if I could of. I was hyperfocused on just trying to keep it together.

Eventually, it was Iida, Momo at his side, who gave an impersonal toast that brushed over the focus of the party and more so thanked everyone for coming and helping put it together. I was grateful for it, because for once, I didn't feel indifferent towards being the center of attention. I wanted to disappear into oblivion.

It was Momo who eventually looked at me and Elias, expectant and suspicious both, and asked if we had anything we'd like to say. I answered with a quick yes, and idiot Elias just paused at my side, hand on my lower back, beaming at me. I gave him the briefest smile before I forced myself to face everyone else.

I'd never felt such pain. Everyone who'd once let me in and warmed up to me against their better judgement were looking at me with such judgement, such uncertainty, such distain. How quickly I'd convinced them how awful I was. How easy I'd made it to believe it so quickly. Mina looked openly furious and disgusted. Jiro was giving me a tight smile while Kaminari whispered some type of bad joke to her. Midoriya's smile was so fake, like he was trying so hard to be a good sport.

The only person who wouldn't look at us was Katsuki. He was looking off somewhere just beyond us, boredly, like this was something he didn't care about in the slightest, and was just waiting to end.

I loved them all so much. I was going to miss them so much.

I took an inhale, and I knew immediately from the sound that I was crying.

"Cassie?" Elias said softly at my side. I ignored him.

"Thank you all for everything," I began, in that sad, broken voice, and the last thing I saw before the blurriness overtook me entirely was Kiri lowering his face into his hands.