Saving Isadore [MxM] (An Alpha's Fight Book 1)

Chapter 31

ISADORE • POV

I clung to Aaron like a lost child, desperate for some resemblance of safety and normalcy and comfort. My arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, my face pressed firmly against his scarred neck as I sobbed into the ragged flesh there. I clung to him as though a vicious monster was attempting to drag me away and down into a pit of darkness.

I desperately needed him to anchor me.

Because that's how living without Nana felt. As though there was a deep, dark pit, filled with anguish, despair and uncertainty, waiting to swallow me up from bellow and I wasn't strong enough to fight my descent into the pit. I needed Aaron, I couldn't let him go, too scared that without him, I'd fall into the darkness or he'd leave... like Nana did.

"Shhh, breathe honey. You're okay, I've got you," Aaron whispered hoarsely and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

It had been a week since Maverick had found Nana deceased in her bed and we'd spent most of our time since then, burrowed down in my bedroom, locked away from the outside world. I hadn't wanted to do anything but weep. It all seemed unreal and I found myself begging for Nana to come back to me while I cried in my rare fits of restless sleep.

Aaron had stayed with me, mostly because I wouldn't let him go. He was there to hold me, to wipe my tears, to stroke my hair and kiss me better. I knew I was being selfish, that at some point he'd have to go back to reality and live his own life again, but for now, he was here and I was so grateful that he hadn't left me alone.

Alone. The very state of being that absolutely terrified me.

But despite my deepest, most terrifying fears, I wasn't truly alone.

Some traumatised part of me had always believed that as soon as Nana left, everyone dear in my life would disappear. That I'd walk this Earth isolated and unloved, destined to be alone with my own destructive company for the rest of my life. All of the promises of forever, all of the new relationships I'd rebuilt with my family and all of the love I'd sparked with Aaron would disappear in a poof, right in front of my eyes.

So far, that hadn't happened.

Aaron was with me when he could be anywhere else. It was the start of summer and our classmates were probably going to parties, water parks and travelling on cool holidays. Instead, Aaron was here with me in the dark, holding me while I wept pitifully and clung to him like a vine. He was all the company I needed to fill the void Nana had left behind and I was so grateful that he was with me.

Maverick could've left. This small, insecure part of me deep down had always wondered if he truely loved and forgave me as his little brother because he could move past the murder and liked being around me or if he felt obligated to please Nana and Dad. Afterall, being an only child has its perks and well... he'd have been better off continuing on like I did not exist.

Except my brother hadn't left. Everyday he came into my room, taking his turn holding me while Aaron took a break. He'd tell me that everything would be okay, that he wasn't going anywhere and then encourage me to eat the sandwiches he'd made me. I was grateful and so relieved that he was still around, that he hadn't abandoned me. So, I made an effort to eat his sandwiches although my appetite had left me.

Dad had stayed.

Instead of packing up and going home back to mum, now that Nana was gone and not around to judge him or hold him to his word, he was here, with me. He'd arranged a funeral for Nana, done all the paperwork I couldn't haul myself out of bed to complete. He'd cleaned the house, braided and re-braided my hair to stop it from becoming mated because of my depressed neglect. He'd kissed me, prayed with me, told me that I'd be okay, eventually. He was still here to stay and once again, I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude.