Forced To Love You

Drunk

The bottle of wine was empty when Christian came back to the room. It didn't take me long to finish it off. Each glass slowly added up until I scowled at the bottle for being empty and not still having wine in it.

Christian entered the room when I wasn't expecting him. He spotted me on the couch and slowly made his way over to me. "Blair?"

I sniffed and sat up, pulling the blanket along with me. I had a feeling he thought I was asleep. "What were you... Where did you go today?" He hadn't told me he had any plans.

"I had to meet with Zeke for a while and then I went for a run. Are you... Is everything okay?"

I took a breath and opened my mouth to speak but I couldn't get any words out. A sob left my throat and more followed after it, one after another. I cried right in front of him and that wasn't like me.

He sat down beside me on the couch and put his arm around me. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Blair, don't cry."

I turned into his chest as I cried. I couldn't stop my tears once they started. I couldn't close the floodgates that released all my pent-up anxiety and anger and sadness and guilt. I needed to cry and let it out.

He ran his fingers through my hair and I felt a sense of peace wash over me. It wasn't enough to get me to stop crying but it was enough to help me breathe a little better.

After several long minutes, I was finally able to pull myself together. I wiped my face with the backs of my fingers, ridding my skin of the tears I had cried. I took a deep breath before I looked up at Christian.

A crease had formed on his forehead, showing the worry he felt toward me. Clearly seeing me in that state made him concerned that I'd never get out of it. I always knew he was concerned about me in some way but this felt different.

He put his hand on my cheek and brushed away a fallen tear with his thumb. "It's okay, Blair. I'm here."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Looking at Christian sent something through me that... I couldn't explain. It was like a good feeling I didn't want to happen. But what was wrong if it did?

Christian was hot. I knew that. He probably knew that. And... he was all mine. So why was I nervous? Why was I holding back? If I wanted to kiss him, I could just...

I stood up on my knees facing him and put my hands on his shoulders. I leaned in, wanting to be closer to him.

Just before our lips could touch, he pushed me back, his hands gentle but firm on my arms.

"No, Blair."

My eyebrows furrowed. "I-I thought this was what you wanted. I thought you wanted me-"

He shook his head. "Not like this. I won't have our first kiss happen when you're drunk."

I sat back on my heels. Tears began to fill my eyes once more, a totally new form of rejection hitting me. It was almost like the worst kind. He was supposed to care for me and... and yet he was turning me away like I wasn't good enough.

"Blair, please don't cry again. I promise you I'm not doing this to hurt you."

"Yeah, but I thought you wanted to kiss me."

"You have no idea how much I want to. But not like this. Maybe once you're sober and you can decide if this is what you really want."

"I'm not drunk."

"When did you get this bottle?" He asked as he picked up the empty wine bottle from where it lay on the floor.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Whenever I got back I asked for it."

He sighed. "I don't think it's been very long. Did you eat anything?"

"I was too depressed to eat."

"You need some water or you're going to get sick."

I rolled my eyes and sat back on the couch, my back pressed against the arm of the couch. "I think you're just being overprotective. I'll be fine after I sleep a little."

He raised an eyebrow. "Then I suggest you get some sleep. The sooner, the better."

"You worry too much."

"Someone has to worry if you're going to drink all the time. Unattended, while we're at it."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You know I don't need a babysitter."

"If you're going to do this then maybe you do."

I got to my feet and started toward the bedroom. I stumbled and fell into Christian who luckily caught me before I could hit the coffee table and hurt myself. "Get off me."

"Let me help you to bed. You need to lie down."

"I don't need your help."

He sighed and picked me up. Even as I protested, he continued to carry me to the bedroom. He laid me down in the bed and leaned over me, keeping me trapped where I was. "Do I have to sit with you so I know you'll go to sleep?"

I slapped his chest though it barely had any strength to it. "Don't patronize me."

His lips twitched upward. "But it's so much fun. Sometimes you need to be taken down a notch."

"No, I don't. You need to learn your place as..."

"As what?"

"As... whatever you are. I mean, I can't say you're my boyfriend cause you're... not."

He sat down and released me from the cage his arms made around me. "Why can't I be?"

"Because we're not... I don't even like you."

"You just wanted to kiss me five minutes ago."

"Well, that was five minutes ago."

He rolled his eyes. "We're mates, Blair. We might as well be boyfriend and girlfriend."

I shook my head though the movement made me dizzy. "No. I don't... I can't..."

"Take some time to think about it. You might change your mind. But you need to get some rest. You're still drunk."

I sighed and pulled the blanket over me. "Just wait until I'm not drunk."

He chuckled. "I can't wait."