Forced To Love You

Scared Of The Dark

Stepping into the house after everything that had happened in the past month made me feel like I wasn't welcome back. I felt like a foreign person who wasn't given permission to enter the house.

But everything was familiar to me. The way the kitchen smelled of cinnamon all the time and the color of the wallpaper. Aunt Ren liked old things, things that reminded her of her childhood. So she had wallpaper and old furniture and decorations that her parents had in their home. It wasn't my taste but I knew why she held onto it.

The kitchen was in the same state it had been left in. Dishes were still in the sink and there was a cookbook opened to a casserole recipe on the counter. I hated that the house was stuck in limbo after I left and aunt Ren died. It was frozen in time, waiting for someone to return back.

I ran my fingers over the photos and magnets on the fridge. There were some restaurant menus stuck under a random magnet. And there was also a picture of me and my parents.

It was taken one day when everyone's parents were invited to school for some sort of party or presentation or something. It was only a few days before the house caught fire and I lost them.

I grabbed the picture and stuck it in my pocket.

As I left the kitchen, I headed to the steps. I kept my head down as I made my way up the stairs, unable to look at the pictures on the walls as I ascended.

At the top of the steps, there were three doors: mine, Ren's, and the bathroom slightly down the hall. I stepped in front of my bedroom door and pushed it open.

Just as the kitchen looked the same as the day I left, so did my bedroom. To the right was my bed, with the headboard propped up against the wall. Across from it was my dresser. I had all my clothes stuffed into it with some makeup on the top. My desk sat in the corner furthest from the door with my laptop and some textbooks on it.

I walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. Just being in the room brought back so many memories. It made me so homesick for the life I used to have. My life before Christian.

I took a deep breath in before I knelt down beside the bed. I reached under and pulled out a light purple duffel bag that I stashed several months back. I turned it upside down and shook out the contents. I had an old pack of gum, a mini hairbrush, and a pair of flip-flops in the bag from when aunt Ren and I stayed overnight in Charlotte the previous summer. I never used the bag that often.

I bit my lip as I tossed the bag onto my bed. I went to the dresser and began grabbing clothes to pack. I pulled out several of my favorite outfits and articles of clothing that I knew I wanted the most. It wasn't the biggest bag so I could only fit so many clothes inside. I stuffed a pair of tennis shoes in the side pocket before walking to my desk. I grabbed my laptop and placed it on top of the clothes.

I sat down on the bed beside my bag and laid back so I was staring up at the ceiling. It felt so easy to just stay in North Carolina. It wouldn't be hard to forget the life I had found in Twisp. There were plenty of guys who were just as nice, if not nicer, than Christian in North Carolina. I could either start over here or... move somewhere else and reinvent myself. I didn't need to go back.

But Christian cared about me. He would do anything to protect me. He brought me all the way to North Carolina to help me find closure. That closure came with the promise that I would return with him.

Could I really leave him when he had shown me a kindness I had never seen before?

I got to my feet and grabbed my bag. I slung the strap over my shoulder and walked out of my room. I grabbed a few things from the bathroom and tucked them into the crevices of my bag that were still available. I couldn't have fit anything more into it if I tried.