Forced To Love You

Hating Him

The cold was starting to seep into my bones. Even under the blanket, I could still feel the cold air. It felt like it was getting colder the longer we were out in it. I seriously didn't understand how Christian handled it.

Christian wolfed down his food faster than I was expecting. I only got nuggets and fries and it seemed like it took me forever to eat them compared to him. From the way he talked, I assumed my hunger would increase the more time passed. I still hadn't shifted and though I didn't plan on doing it anytime soon, I knew that would progress things even faster.

Once he was finished eating, he removed the blanket from over his legs and got to his feet.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I pulled the blanket close and held it against my chest to get the most heat from it as I could.

He jumped down from the tailgate and turned to look at me. "Do you want to head back? It's getting cold out."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You couldn't have realized that an hour ago?"

He smiled. "You'll get used to it."

Grabbing the blanket and my drink, I got to my feet. I carefully made my way to the tailgate, not wanting to trip and fall. I got to the tailgate and was planning to sit down on my butt to get off. But Christian had other plans for me.

"Jump."

"Excuse me?"

"Jump."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Are you crazy? I'm not jumping."

"It's not that far to the ground."

"Aren't you forgetting that I just got over a broken ankle? I'm not rebreaking it just to play Jackass."

He chuckled. "And I think you're forgetting that I'm the one who fixed it for you. So trust me, Blair."

I stared down at him. Trusting him was easier said than done. But I realized that if I didn't even try, it was never going to happen. I held the blanket and my soda out for him to take, knowing I didn't want to be weighed down by anything. I really didn't want to embarrass myself in front of him.

I took a deep breath through my nose as I stared down at the ground. A second later, I jumped down. I managed to land on my feet and not hurt myself however I did stumble. Right into Christian.

He put his free arm around me, holding me against him. I would've been closer had it not been for the blanket in between us.

Being so close to him, I could smell his scent. I could tell he was wearing cologne but that wasn't the only scent I detected.

Humans typically wore perfume or cologne to give off a certain smell and make people find them more appealing. You remembered people based on what their scent preference was. Yet it seemed like werewolves were different. I hadn't been able to try it for myself but I had a feeling that if Christian were in a room full of people, I'd be able to smell him over anyone else. Whether it was just his scent alone or if it was because we were mates, I wasn't sure.

I just knew that being that close to him made it hard for me to think.

He moved the blanket between us and I fell into him, forgetting to make my feet move and keep myself upright.

I was about to apologize but when I looked up at him, I couldn't speak. Why was he having this effect on me?

All I could think about was kissing him. That seemed like a common trend for me lately and I was cursing myself for feeling that way. What happened to hating him?

My body moved before my brain could. Our lips made contact before I realized it was going to happen. From the way Christian froze at the contact made, I could tell he wasn't expecting me to do that either.

Upon contact, my eyes fluttered shut. The feeling of his lips on mine was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was my first kiss and it definitely wasn't happening the way I expected it. Yet... I felt that it was the right time to do it.

That smell that was specifically his engulfed my senses. It only made me want him more. It made me want to get closer.

His lips were soft against mine. He took things slow with me, like I was fragile and he needed to be careful with me. I didn't mind it considering it was my first time but there was a part of me that hated it. That part of me that wanted him to pull me in close and kiss me the way he'd wanted to kiss me since the day we met. I wanted the fiery passion that I knew he was holding back.

His lips moved against mine like they were meant for me. His hand lifted from under the blanket and cupped my cheek. The skin-on-skin contact sent shocks through my body, taking my breath away.

Any bad thoughts I had about Christian seemed to vanish in the blink of an eye. The feel of his lips against mine and his breath against my skin was all I could focus on. It was all I wanted to focus on.

Christian had a lot to make up for. He caused the accident that sent my life into a spiral. If it weren't for him, I would still have my aunt and would still be living in North Carolina. I wouldn't have been bitten by his brother. But I never would have known that Christian was my mate and that I was his. maybe if the circumstances had been different, I could have fallen in love with him the way both of us deserved. But I wasn't sure I could allow myself to do that after everything that did happen.

I pulled away and looked down at the blanket that separated us. Part of me wanted it to stay there yet another part wanted to throw it aside and fill the space that remained.

"Christian?" I whispered, not trusting my voice.

"Yeah?" His voice was low and deep as he spoke and it made me want to kiss him all over again.

I took a deep breath to remind myself that there was something on my mind that was more important than kissing Christian again. "I don't know how to forgive you."

He pressed his forehead against mine and I could tell he wanted nothing more than to kiss me again. But he held back so we could talk. In doing so, I could feel his breath on my face and it made me bite my lip. "Let me make it up to you. I know I can't bring your aunt back but I want to prove to you that I'm not an awful person."

"What if I can't forgive you?"

"I'm hoping you can. I want this to work, Blair. I really want to be with you."

A tear fell from my eye and ran down my cheek. I quickly reached up to brush it away but I felt more were on their way. I didn't want to cry in front of Christian but I wasn't going to be able to hold in how I was feeling.

"I know saying I'm sorry isn't enough. I know it won't bring your aunt back. I know what it's like when someone takes away the most important person in your life. And I know how important she was to you. I just hope you can forgive my mistakes, forgive me, and allow me the chance to show you that I'm not that type of person."

I blinked and more tears rolled down my cheeks. Thankfully, from where I was looking, Christian couldn't see. I stared down at the blanket between us as I tried my hardest to process and think about what he had said. If I even could forgive him, it was going to take some time. I wasn't going to get over something like that easily.

"I need time."

He nodded. "Okay."

---

Ahhh! I've been waiting for this moment for a while now. Blair and Christian finally kissed yet it comes with restrictions. Do you think Blair is right to keep Christian at an arm's length or do you think she should forgive him and move on? I couldn't imagine having to make that kind of decision. Why does love have to be so difficult?