Do better, Mr. Stark.

8 - Spider Duo

Peter:
Black widows are known for cannibalizing their mates, but this doesn't actually happen all the time. The exception seems to be the red widow, where the male force feeds himself to the female by placing himself into her mandibles. If she 'spits him out,' so to speak, he will keep placing himself there until she eventually eats him.

Nat:
...what is your ulterior motive here

Peter:
Oh you know

I thought this would be a great
conversation starter

Also, you're a Black Widow!

THE Black Widow, in fact

Nat:
I mean, you aren't wrong..

Why do I feel like I know what
your next question might be

Peter:
Well now I don't know wanna ask
anymore >:(

Nat:
Just get it over with

Peter:
Uhm... do you also

well,

eat other spiders?

Cuz that might be a problem

Nat:
I don't, Peter.

But besides that, last I checked
you were a boy, not a spider?

Peter:
Come on Ms. Romanoff, I know you know

Nat:
Know what? ;)

Peter:
Are you seriously making me say it :/

Nat:
Yes, yes I am

Peter:
Mean.

It would be a problem because...

Drum roll please!!

I am Spider-Man.

Nat:
Yeah I know kid

Peter:
BUT HOW

I hide it so well!

Nat:
You don't.

You were literally shot, healed within
two days and were good as new.

Oh and I also heard you tell Stark something along the lines of "Mr. Stark I do not need a helmet when driving my bike, I'm Spider-Man!"

So... That was pretty easy to figure out.

Peter:
Oh

I guess I should be a bit more careful huh

Nat:
More than a bit, маленький паук.

Peter:
I AM NOT LITTLE :o

Nat:
Wait - you understood that?

Peter:
Obviously

Nat:
You know Russian?!

Peter:
Not fluently, but yeah, I do! :)
The owner of my FAVORITE street
food stand in Queens is Russian and
he seemed so nice, I wanted to be able
to talk to him

Nat:
...

Peter:
Miss Romanoff???

Nat:
You are so pure oh my god.

Peter:
<3

We are totally a Spider Duo omg!!!

I already know that you don't eat your
mates, which is a great start. But do you
have any spider abilities??

Nat:
Nope, all human

Peter:
But you're so strong!

Why is your name Black Widow then?

Nat:
Oh, uhm

Peter:
Omg I'm so sorry you don't have to tell me anything, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything!

Nat:
It's okay, маленький паук.

I was orphaned as a child and indoctrinated
into something called the Red Room. They
used psychological conditioning and things
like that to make me "the perfect assassin"
and I graduated as a Widow, which is what
they call all their graduates.

Not my favorite topic to be honest

Peter:
I don't even know how to respond to that.

I am so sorry Miss Romanoff, that is horrible.
You are so strong and such an inspiration.
I can't believe it was even possible but I
look up to you even more now.

Nat:
S.H.I.E.L.D. found and saved me, it's all good now. Thank you Peter, I appreciate that.

Wait.

You look up to me?

Peter:
Of course!

Nat:
You are by far the sweetest kid known to earth.

Peter:
As nice as that is, I am not a kid :(((

Nat:
You totally are.

Anyways, do YOU have spider abilities?

Peter:
Don't think I didn't notice that quick
change of topic!

I do, actually.

Super strength, accelerated healing, precognitive spider-sense ability. Among others.

My aunt May calls the last one my Peter Tingle :D

Oh and I'm really sticky

Nat:
And you're only 16?! How do
you manage all that?

Peter:
You had to face more overwhelming things far younger than 16, how do YOU manage?

Nat:
Good argument.

Well even though I don't have any
spider abilities, I still love that
Spider Duo idea you had :)

Peter:
So you'd be like my Mama Spider!

Nat:
I'll take it.

Anything to stop you
from calling me Miss.

*Peter changed Nat's name into Mama Spider*

*Nat changed Peter's name into Baby Spider*

Baby Spider:
Hey! :(

Mama Spider:
;)