Tessa leaned against the door of her and Soonyoung’s suite. She took several deep breaths in an effort to stabilize her breathing.
She was so close to tears.
It had taken all her willpower to appear flippant about what had been bothering her these last few months. That conversation with Mingyu had pushed her close to the edge.
If she was being honest with herself, yes, she did feel what Mingyu felt. She did feel that she really could have been Deuk-Im. But as she told him, what of it? That was their past life. This was the present.
Wait, did she really believe in reincarnation though?
She walked towards their bed, deep in thought.
She knew she felt Deuk-im’s emotions as if they were her own. She knew she remembered those memories as if they were her own.
Truth be told, she really truly felt like she was Deuk-im reborn.
In any case, she did not want Mingyu to know that.
Not until she knew what was going on.
Did her impressions of being Deuk-im actually warrant a second try in this life? All that she knew of the experience of the doomed lovers was that they were bound by their duties and put those duties first.
The Joseon king, as a prince, had proposed to Deuk-im when they were young. Fifteen years later, as a king who had a wife plus two concubines, he proposed to Deuk-im again. On both occasions, she had rejected the proposals.
However not long after the second proposal, the history books say they did get married and quickly got pregnant.
Sadly, they lost the first two of those pregnancies. The third child completed his gestation and became the crown prince.
Crown Prince Munhyo unfortunately passed away at three years old so did his sister, who also passed after she was born.
Their fifth child, who was close to term, passed with Deuk-im when she died while pregnant.
From what Tessa read from history, it was a tragic love story. From what her dreams were telling her, Deuk-im was filled with so much grief and pain. What part of it did she want to repeat?
What if she and Mingyu continued on with their past in this life? Who’s to say none of those tragedies would happen again? A happy ending in this lifetime was not guaranteed.
Her life with Soonyoung was close to perfect. They were happy. Why would she jeopardize that?
Granted that they were only a few months into this relationship. Still, she felt her happiest with him. As Tessa, Soonyoung was the one making her feel loved and happy.
She and Mingyu, no Deuk-im and Jeongjo, had their time. She had to make different choices in this life to avoid meeting the same tragic end.
“Baby? Where are you?” Soonyoung’s sleepy voice came from deep inside the room.
Tessa breathed in deep and walked towards the bed. “I’m here, baby. Went downstairs to join Gyu for coffee.”
Soonyoung’s face showed that he clearly was confused. “Gyu asked you to join him for coffee? Was everyone else asleep?”
Tessa grinned, climbing onto the bed and leaning against the pillow. “You clearly were.”
“That’s true. We all were probably tired from practice.” Soonyoung leaned in to kiss Tessa lightly on the lips. “I’m glad he had one of us there to join him. Otherwise he would have nagged our manager to no end.”
“Aww, you consider me one of you?”
Soonyoung smiled widely. “Baby, don’t you?”
Tessa wiggled her fingers in front of his face. “I see no ring that makes me an official member.” She was referring, of course, to the rings each member got every time they released a full album.
“That’s coz you’ll get a wedding ring.”
She looked at him funny. “Baby, we had this conversation with Kuya Hyun in our kitchen. I’m not ready.”
Soonyoung took both her hands in his. “Hey, don’t feel pressured or anything like that okay? There’s no set timeline for when I’ll put a ring on it. I’m just trying to say that I know it’s you and will always be you. Down the road, you in a wedding dress walking down the aisle to marry me is the only result I will allow.”
Tessa blinked and smiled shyly. “I know, baby.”
“Do you really?”
Tessa scrunched her nose and nodded. “Anyway, are you guys needed back at practice later? Or at the venue perhaps?”
The idol shook his head. “Nah, it’s a free day now after practice earlier. Soundcheck is tomorrow and we’ll be at the MOA arena the whole day until the concert starts.”
Tessa grinned. “It’s funny that you say these things like I don’t have even a little bit of an inkling about how tours go. Someone might have forgotten that it was his girlfriend who suggested to his management team to look into Manila as a possible stopover on this tour.”
Soonyoung kissed Tessa on the lips again. “Hmmm.. I may have forgotten that little tidbit.”
Suddenly, Soonyoung’s phone rang. A snippet of the SVT leaders’ unit song, Cheers, played. He groaned as he went to answer the call.
“Yeoboseyo?” (Hello?)
“Hyung? Are you decent?” It sounded like Dino. (Bro?)
“When am I ever decent?” Soonyoung chuckled.
“Touche!” The younger said. “Good thing your woman has nerves of steel. I don’t know how she could resist your charms otherwise.”
“Dinosaur, I’m waiting for you to tell me why you called me.”
“Right. I’m outside your hotel room. Let me in please, hyung. I’ve been knocking for the last ten minutes.”
Tessa and Soonyoung looked at each other. “We haven’t heard knocking.”
“I’m right outside your door, hyung.”
Tessa ran to open the door as Soonyoung followed behind her. “There’s no one outside our door, Chan.”
“Open up, hyung!” Dino chanted over the phone.
Soonyoung ran to check down the hall, putting the call on speaker. “Dinosaur, no one is outside my hotel room door.”
“Baby, ask Dino-oppa which room number he’s at?”
“Room 250.” The future of Kpop answered.
Both Tessa and Soonyoung snickered. “Yeah, we’re not in Room 250. Try the Diplomatic suite.”
“Shit! On my way.” Dino cursed as he ran away as fast as he could before someone actually opened the door. “I didn’t realize you and Tessa would be getting a different room on an entirely different floor.”
