In Every Way

18

I stay one more night with Cooper only because he insists on setting like fifteen alarms so we don't have a repeat from last week. He drops me off for class with plenty of time to spare before Josh and Natasha start. I run right to Carmen who waves me over to spot at the barre infront of her.
"Hey stranger." She is in the middle of warming up with a battement sequence. "How was your weekend rolling around in the sheets at your rockstars bachelor pad?"
"It was fun, thanks for asking," I muse.
It takes the entirety of our day to spill the details. We have to sneak in conversation as we walk down the halls. I whisper more about Cooper while we're in line for across the floor progressions. We giggle about it all while the instructors aren't looking. Carmen really is the best person to talk about boys with.
"Avery!" I bounce away from Carmen at the snap of my name like a whip coming from Lawless. "Stay after class. You too, Carmen. And Alister."
The three of us are ashen and grey faced as we stay back until everyone else is gone. Crap crap crap. This can't be good. I have no idea why Lawless wants to talk to us three in particular. The only thing I can think of is maybe it's about our lead in his number. At least that's what I tell myself to keep from passing out with the stress of it being something else.
"You two." Lawless gestures for Alister and I. "I take it you heard the news of your lead for the fall showcase?"
Thank god. "We couldn't be more honored-"
"Good. We'll start rehearsals next week. Plan on being here by six everyday."
"Everyday?" I try not to gape, regretting saying anything in the first place with the dumbfounded look he's giving me.
"Is that a problem for you?"
"N-no! I was just... thinking about working my solo. It's not a problem. This is more important."
"I'm glad you figured that much out, Ms. Hillman. After next week we'll move to every other day but I want to get the bulk of the choreography at you and then spend the rest of the time cleaning and perfecting. How's that sound?"
Alister shifts with discomfort next to me. "We're ready."
Lawless observed us, as if sizing us up to see if we really have what it takes to be his leads. I know we do. It will just suck not having time to rehearse my solo, which also happens to mean no seeing Cooper either. But it's fine; balance. I need to find it. Maybe this is the universes way of saying, I just gave you a whole day with your boyfriend to mess around now it's time to focus again. I can do that. I can focus.
"You're dismissed." Lawless waves us away, turning for Carmen.
When we're out of earshot and out of the studio I sigh to Alister. "Why was that so terrifying?"
"I know right?" He lets out the same sigh of relief as if he felt every second of that torment as I did. "I thought he was going to tell us he decided to go with someone else."
"That would have sucked. I probably would have started to cry."
"Same." He takes stride next to me down the hall. "But six oclock rehearsal everyday? Seems like a bit much. When are we supposed to, I don't know, work on the hundreds of other stuff we have going on."
"I know..." I don't know how I'll break the news to Cooper that I won't see him for a week. "When are we supposed to work on our solo's?"
"No idea."
    "You've started yours right?"
    His shrug is telling. "I've got a few kinks to work out but I'll hit the ground running soon. How is your's coming?"
    "Good, really good. We would have finished it next week but now I'm not too sure."
    "You still have time. Let's just get through Lawless's initial rehearsals first. I have a feeling he's not going to be easy on us."
    "I agree." I reach for my dance bag but realize that in the chaos of how class ended, "Shoot! I forgot my bag in the studio." I turn back down the hall where we came from. "See you tomorrow!"
    "Likewise!" He waves after me.
    The building is eerily quiet as the dancers clear out for the evening, I notice, as I walk back to the studio. I expect to run into Carmen but she must still be talking to Lawless. I'm sure she'll have plenty to say about it so maybe we can walk back to our room together, but when I round the corner to go inside, I stop short, because Carmen is-
Oh my god.
She's kissing Lawless. Lawless is kissing her. They're literally making out right in the middle of the room. I don't know what to think until she slaps him, pushing out of his strong embrace. Is he forcing himself on her?!
"Get off of me you fucking perv!" Carmen orders him through gritted teeth. I don't understand, why doesn't she yell for help?
"You weren't saying that last time," Lawless grabs for her again but she pushes away.
"That was a mistake. And like a bajillion years ago. Why can't you just leave me alone? I told you I don't want anything to do with you."
"Is that why you show up late to my class? And do so well I have no choice but to use you as an example?"
"You really think I want your attention?" Carmen grabs her bags and shoes from the front of the room. "You're crazy if you think that. Don't ever-"
"Don't ever what?" Lawless snarks. "Come onto you again? Or you'll go to the board? To the directors? We'll see who they believe. A prestigious, well known instructor who brings in millions for them or the party girl trash, who just so happens to have a pretty face and decent legs?" he scoffs in her face, causing her to cower. "Good fucking luck."
"Just leave me alone!" Carmen whisper yells as if she doesn't want anyone to hear.
As soon as I realize she's coming for the door I scram down the hall at the fastest rate I've ever ran, away from embarrassing her, away from the realization smacking me in the face, and as far as I can get from Lawless who is supposed to be a trusted instructor. Someone for us to look up to and strive to be. A man who has corrected my body with his bare, predatory hands and who I've noticed on more than one occasion has grabbed other dancers in a way that should be inappropriate but passes as nothing since he is doing a lift where the guy is required to have their hands close to certain places. It's all professional work, or it should be, with Alister and I it is... but Lawless and Carmen? None of it makes sense. And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about it.
A part of me wants to run straight to the board of directors and file a complaint but if what Lawless said is true... They would never believe me. And Carmen, poor Carmen... it's her story to tell. Her trauma to reveal. And that I can respect. But how am I supposed to go about the fact that I just overheard their entire conversation? I saw our instructor force himself on her, witnessed her pushing him away, heard every foul threat and the tone of my friend who was backed into a corner, alone.
I sit in the courtyard for, I don't even know how long. Long enough for the sun to fade and light sparkles from the stars to appear. I mainly want to give Carmen time to be by herself. But eventually I have to go up to our room. I have to face this.
    The lights are off in the dorm when I walk in. Carmen is already in bed and has her covers pulled up and over her head, a universal sign that she wants to be left alone. For her to not be bouncing around the room like a Tasmanian devil, flinging around her magazines, suggesting we go out or get into trouble somewhere is deafening. I don't like this one bit. All I can do is quickly change so I don't disturb her and get into my own bed.
    "Goodnight Carmen," I reach out a hand so she at least knows I'm here.
    But I'm only answered with silence.