ᵍᵒᵈᵈᵉˢˢ | ᵈᵘᵇᶜʰᵃᵉⁿᵍ

016

Tzuyu was waiting for us on the front lawn as we walked up to The House. She seems so eager for me to be here.

"We already have a room set up for you, come on."

Chae and I followed Tzuyu upstairs and to a bedroom down the hall.

"That's my room." Chae pointed out as we passed one of the doors.

We stopped just a few doors down from her room, which was rather convenient, Tzuyu smiling warmly at me as she spoke, "The room is not decorated, it's fairly plain. But that's so that you can make it your own."

I nodded, almost excited to be able to decorate a whole new room. I have so many posters to put up.

Tzuyu opened the door, leading us into the room.

It was bigger than my old room, giving me a lot more space to work with.

Turning towards Tzuyu, I gave her the biggest smile as I thanked her, grateful that I could turn towards people.

"You're welcome. Stay as long as you need. You'll be Chae's plus one so you won't be bothered about recruitment, but you also won't be allowed in on any informational discussions we may have. So you might be confined to this room for a little bit sometimes."

"That's okay."

Tzuyu hugged me and Chae before leaving, allowing the two of us to be alone.

Silence filled the atmosphere as I looked around, picturing what my new room will look like.

"Hyun." Chaeyoung called out, breaking the silence.

Turning to face her, I saw a glint of curiosity in her eyes. "Yes?"

She bit her lip, taking a step towards me as she questioned, "Why did you kiss me earlier?"

I could feel my cheeks turning pink from embarrassment. Why did I kiss her?

"I don't know. It just felt right." I shrugged, trying to not confess to the blonde for a second time.

She only nodded in response, turning away. "I'll be in my room if you need anything."

I watched her close the door behind her, hearing her mumble something to herself as she left the room.

Puffing out my cheeks, I walked to my bed before tossing myself onto it.

Why did I kiss her? I mean, sure, I have feelings for her. But are they romantic?

She's so beautiful and kind and everything I wish I could be. She's fearless, carefree, and unbothered.

But me? I'm just a girl who does everything everyone else wants, only wanting to please others. I'm too scared to tell people no.

But I ran away from home. I didn't listen to my father shouting for me, pleading for me to not do this.

Did I disgrace the family name? Will their reputation never be the same?

Should I even care? They've never once cared for what I wanted.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knocking on the door, Sana asking if she could enter from the other side.

I called her in, watching her open the door with a soft smile. "Hi."

"Hey. What's up?" Patting the bed, I sat up to allow her space.

Sana sat down, a mischievous smile on her face, almost as if she were plotting something.

"Chae tells me you ran away from home."

I nodded, "Yeah. My father called for me and I kept running."

"Chae also tells me that you two kissed." "I-"

"Don't lie, Dahyun. You're a bad liar." Sana giggled, making me pout.

Silence once again filled the air before Sana asked, "Do you have feelings for her?"

I just stared into her eyes, almost hoping the answer to that question would be revealed inside of them. As if maybe Sana had all the answers to my questions.

"I don't know. I've never felt like this towards anyone."

"Well," Sana started, turning to face me better. "What do you feel?"

"Joy. Excitement whenever I see her. Happiness whenever we spend time together, even if just at the park for a few minutes. Even her name brings so much warmth to my heart. And she makes me feel seen. Not like some prized child. I feel so free with her, like I can do anything as long as she's by my side."

Sana smiled, "It sounds to me like you know exactly how you feel. You just aren't allowing yourself to accept it."

Biting my lip, I couldn't help but feel she was right.

Maybe I don't accept it because I've never liked another girl.

Being gay was frowned upon in my household so I always suppressed my feelings and emotions, never allowing anyone to know. Except for Pinky.

"Sana?" "Yes?" "Please don't tell her."

Sana's eyes went soft, almost sad, but she nodded nonetheless. "Okay. I won't."

I thanked her before she got up to leave.

"Dahyun." She called just before reaching the door.

I looked at her, waiting for her to go on. "Sometimes, it's love, that truly sets us free."

With that, she exited the room, leaving me to contemplate my feelings and emotions.

Why can't you just accept them, Dahyun?