Attack on Titan - Yandere Levi Ackerman X Male Reader

Levi Ackerman X Male Reader : Chapter 11

"Shit! What do I do now? This can't be happening" I say in despair, pressing my forehead against the cool stone of the wall, in an attempt to quell the groaning headache pounding inside of my head like a hammer.

I was struggling to come to terms with what I had witnessed Commander Erwin Smith and Scout Leader Zoe Hange do to Eren. The coward in me wanted to pack it all in, run away and desert the army, not wanting to be here a moment longer. The torture I had witnessed had changed me on the inside, knowing I would never be able to return to a time when I could look at my superior officers in the same way. How could I face fighting a Titan out on the battle field, or cope with the shock of seeing my fellow soldiers ripped to pieces if I couldn't handle that? The confusion over my future was eroding me slowly down, like water carving through a stone, changing its shape permanently.

"Fuck! I even threw up and pissed in front of the Captain! I'm so damned weak! I'm pathetic!" I said after realising Levi had cleaned up after the mess I made throwing up.

How could I hold my head up after how I had reacted, showing my true powerlessness in the face of malevolence. I felt immediate crumbling humiliation, knowing the Captain had seen just how shocked I had become and my crippling cowardice. How was I ever going to look the Captain in the eyes again? My heart pained me, causing me to grab my chest as I felt the uncomfortable feeling that came with recognising my own inadequacy so acutely.

I had to leave this depressing place, the stage of the shameful reaction. I felt the cold of the cell more keenly with nothing but my pants on and no shirt or shoes, rubbing my arms to warm up. Knowing I had no choice but to return to the Captain, making my way dejectedly out the cell and towards the staircase that led from the cellars to the surface. My chest felt constricted when I thought back to the conversation I had overheard between Eren and the Captain. I didn't know why it should it matter to me what they had discussed in private. I kept telling myself that I had misheard what they had talked about but I knew deep down I had heard correctly. Pausing at the foot of the stairs, I hesitated wondering what would happen to me if I went back. I kept playing back what Levi had said, not wanting to believe a word.

"Ugh! This is insane!" I groaned out, "Why do I even care? Do I want the Captain to think of me that way? Have I lost my damned mind?" I ranted to myself, "I like Mikasa Ackerman not Levi Ackerman! What's wrong with me? This shouldn't matter... but..." I sighed heavily, "Why does my heart ache?" I shook my head,

It felt like things were escalating each time I was alone with Levi, making me uncomfortably aware that soon he would demand more of my body than I was willing to give. Though I doubted any resistance would stop the worlds strongest soldier from taking exactly what he wanted. Consent be damned. I started to feel faint and sick to my stomach, grabbing hold of the metal bar door of an open cell for support,

Staggering to a bucket filled with water in the cell, I crouched down and leaned my hands against the wall and staring at my own grim reflection looking resolutely back at me, both riddled with uncertainty. I couldn't comprehend why humanities strongest soldier would want someone like me, when I was no one of significance. I felt a gut punching sensation, recalling vividly what happened in the Captains chamber the previous night and the the infirmary just today, the evidence mounting to the contrary. I was twisted up inside and confused by the Captain repeatedly showing a strange possessiveness over me. The bite mark at the back of my neck throbbed painfully when I rubbed the area, almost forgetting the moment Levi had bitten me like some primal animal. Or titan chomping down. A shudder ran through my body, recognising that my situation was only going to get worse the longer I stayed as the Captains dogsbody, though what other choices did I really have?

"No... That cant be right! I... misunderstood. Nothing more!" I tried to convince my reflection but the niggling doubt in my face, churned my stomach like a wine bottle corkscrew slowly being turned inside of me.