Dad sent me to different countries for me to avoid getting bored. He knows what I'm thinking and that is the last thing he wanted me to do.
Naabutan ako noon ni Dad na may hawak na liquid. Gustong-gusto ko na talagang mabawasan pa ang mga iniisip ko pero dahil nakita ni Dad ay pinigilan niya ako. Nagalit siya sa'kin dahil kahit ano raw ang mangyari, bubuhayin namin ang bata.
"What the hell are you doing, Caprice?!" umalingawngaw ang sigaw ni Dad sa buong kwarto ko.
Nabitawan ko ang hawak kong bote ng liquid na hindi ko alam kung ano. Basta ang alam ko ay kaya nitong tanggalin kung ano man ang namumuhay sa tiyan ko. Mabilis akong napatingin kay Dad na mabilis na dumalo sa'kin. He grabbed me away from the liquid that I'm sure it scattered all around the floor.
"Killing it."
It.
I called the child 'it'.
Parang bagay na walang buhay. I shook my head in frustration. Ano ba! Ayaw ko na nga nito! Naiinis na ako ng ganito! Hirap na hirap na nga ako, dunagdag pa ito. Wala pa ang lalaking dapat kasama ko sa pag-alaga nito. He should be here taking care of me and his child but he's out there, having a deal with those disgusting old men. He's out there being engaged with other women.
What does he expects me to do now, huh? Tiisin ang lahat while he, on the other, having his engagement?
"Caprice, don't do this please... Don't do this to my grandchild," nagmamakaawa si Dad sa tinig niya.
Napatitig ako sa mukha niya. Nakikita kong desperado siyang pigilan ako sa kahit ano mang binabalak ko. Ano bang masama sa pagpapalaglag? Sure it is a crime, a murder. But is it really always the case?
Paano naman iyong mga babaeng hindi na kaya ang lahat? Iyong mga babaeng iba ang pananaw sa pagpapalaglag? They never consider abortion as a murder. They consider it as an ending of their own nightmares. Marami sigurong mga tao na hindi iyon maintindihan. Hindi nila maintindihan na hindi pa talaga oras. In my situation, it's not yet time for me to have this kid. I can't raise it yet after all this shits.
Can I raise the child? No. Can I be a mom? No. Do I know how to be one? Fucking no. Is that enough reason for me to drop this?
"I-I can't, D-Dad..."
Dad didn't talk anymore and hugged me instead. Dumaan ang tingin ko sa pintuan ng kwarto ko at ngayon ko lang napansin na kasama pala niya si Tita. Habang nakatingin ako sa kanya ay lumalalim ang iniisip ko.
Iyong nabuntis ni Kuya, parehas din kaya ng iniisip ko ang kanya? She's married to other men, right? So maybe she also thought of dropping the baby. How would she raise the child if she's married with a man who isn't the father of her child? I'll probably thought of having an abortion if I were her.
Sa loob ng isang buwan ay ilang bansa na ang napuntahan namin. We went to countries all around Asia and part of the Eastern. We can't go West part since it is where they are. Doon ang pugad nila kaya baka makasalubong ko na lang sila sa daanan ay hindi ko makayanan.
Dalawang buwan na ang dinadala ko. Hindi pa masyadong halata pero kapag magsusuot ako ng hapit ay doon lamang makikita.
Kauuwi lamang namin dito sa mansiyon ni Dad kahapon kaya nagpapahinga ako ngayon dito sa kwarto ko kasama si Gedalyn at isang katulong. Dad was afraid that I will really continue aborting his grandchild. Ito ang unang magiging apo niya dahil mas nauna akong nabuntis kaysa ang nakabuntis si Kuya. I don't know what he's doing right now but he's probably settling his problem right now.
Bakit ba napakawalang isip nila? They knew that having kid in a situation like these has too many consequences but they are still pushing on doing it. Like Hezekiah, he knew I was still too young and we already talked about having no kids but he still did it.
BINABASA MO ANG
SALVATORE #2: Womanizer's Little Girl
Romance"He's way older than me, but he never cared. He's my brother's cousin, the reason why our relationship was hidden." - Caprice Ishii Villaceran Salvatore Series #2 Matured content ahead. You have been warned.
