Avengers, Care

Ch. 15 "Letter"

Parker POV

"Where have you been?" Steve asked worried,

"I was just taking care of a few things," I said

I didn't say it in a mean way more like dull auto pilot kind of way,

"There is plenty of time for that Parker right now you just need time to process," Bucky said

"I would rather not," I said making my way back to my room,

I would rather keep my mind busy not thinking about it, not accepting the truth,

I turn the corner and run into the last person I thought I would see here, Peter,

He glared at me,

But I just didn't have it in me,

I was picking up all the stuff that fell out of my bag,

"Watch it," He said

"Sorry.." I mumbled

It was quiet,

I looked up seeing he was staring,

I just looked back down picking everything I could up,

"Here let me help " he said in a gently grabbing some pictures and envelopes
He handed them to me,

"Thank you," I said softly
He nodded
I stood up,
It was silent for a bit

"I'm sorry about your grandfather " he said softly
"Thank you," I said

I was about to leave
"Look I know we've kinda hate each other, what do you say we just start over," he said

"Now what would the fun be in that?" I said as I smiled at him softly
He smiled back,

"See you around Peter," I said softly

"You too.. Parker," he said smiling back

I got too my room,

I open the envelope, that had my name on it,

I was sitting in the middle of my bed, my legs criss crossed

'Parker I have written this letter over a million time and still can't find the right words, I mean how do you prepare anyone for the death of a family member, you have been through so much and you are still so young, still learning how you fit in this world, The day you arrived into this world would never prepare me, I have been through the war, but no one can prepare for a child, the day you arrived to live with me was the happiest and saddest day of my life, you lost both parents, but I knew I could help you, remind you that you are still here and there are so many people who care about you who's hearts you have touched, I am so proud of the young woman you are becoming, my only regret is that I won't be there to see the woman you become, how you fit in this challenging and complicated world, Just remember you are a warrior it's in your blood as am I, and I love you with all my heart, Love Pop Pop' 

The tears streamed down my cheeks, 

My lip quivering, 

my nose sniffling from crying, 

I hear a knock, I quickly wipe the tears, Hide all the papers in my bag and push it under the bed, and lay on the bed with my back towards the door, 

I hear someone walk in, 

"Parker we need to talk about today," I hear Steve as he sits on the edge of the bed, 

"I just grabbed a few things that's all," I said in a dull tone, my back still towards them, 

"You could have taken care of that later, you need time," I hear Steve, 

I let out a long sigh as I close my eyes, 

"It will get easier I promise," Bucky said 

"I know... this isn't the first time I lost someone, probably won't be my last," I said 

"Just get some rest come out when you are ready," Bucky said 

I just nodded, 

I hear them both leave,

"When I'm ready..." I mumbled 

"I'll never be ready.." I whispered as my eyes slowly flutter shut,

I felt