Thou Shall Not Fall

Chapter 15

Harry’s P.O.V.

It took me a month, a whole month to get over the blood lust, and I was still out of it. I still was uneasy, and felt like bugs were crawling across my skin, and no matter how hard I tried to forget, the taste of her still swirled around my mouth. The sweetest, most intoxicating thing I have ever tasted, and I wanted it again so bad. But I wouldn’t let myself, she was an innocent person, and no matter how much I denied it, I did care about her. Even though the past month I had been cursing her name and planning ways out in my head to kill her, I wasn’t myself, because now that I’m thinking clearly, I’m feeling one emotion I haven’t felt in a hundred years…

Guilt.

The fact that I hurt her, that I tried to take away her life, ate me up inside. The idea of causing her pain made me hate myself, and made me feel things I didn’t know I could feel anymore. And in a way, I resented her for it. What made her so special? Cause she’s my “Lifemate” ? Pssh, that shit is a bunch of garbage and I and the other boys know it. Well, except for Liam.

Just because he thought he fell in love with a girl back in the 1800’s, makes him think that the “Lifemate Myth” is real. It’s not. We’re not human, we have no souls, therefore we can not love, it’s as simple as that. Liam thinks that if we’re capable of love that there is something human left inside us, I hate to break it to him, but that’s bullshit. If we had souls, we wouldn’t be capable of doing the things that we have to do to survive. 

I was in the living room, my body aching from the silver chains that confined me for the past month. Louis told me silver was a bitch but I never witnessed it first hand. Silver is one of our weaknesses, it physically weakens us and slows down our healing process, which is why my bruises on my arms are taking so long to heal. Yep, silver is definitely a bitch…

The boys still didn’t trust me to leave the house, and honestly neither did I, so I was feeding off Paul. I was feeding off his wrist as he sat on the couch watching T.V., him having been through this with the five of us boys multiple times. I guess the pain was nothing to him now. His blood soothed my dry throat and warmed my stomach, it was clean and adequate but the coppery taste wasn’t what I needed. After knowing what Sam’s blood tasted like, feeding off Paul now was basically like going from filet mignon to spam. It just didn’t satisfy me. 

I pushed his arm down and then handed him the bandage we had laying on the table, wiping my mouth off as I looked down at my feet. God dammit, I’m still hungry.

“Feel any better then?” Paul asked as he wrapped up his wrist.

I nodded continuing to look at the T.V. “Yeah, a bit.”

He sighed as he stood up and patted my shoulder. “You’re a bad liar son.” He said as he began walking out the living room.

“Hey, I am older than you! Don’t forget that.”

“Whatever you say.” He called over his shoulder as he exited the room.

I looked back the television and quickly shut it off. I never exactly understood it, I liked films when the first couple came out, particularly in the 60’s, but after the 80’s it just went downhill. I mean, people actually find talking animals entertaining in this decade? Don’t even get me started on the music. Normally I would just find a good book to read, but it seems like those are starting to get affected now too. I mean Twilight, really? Sorry ladies, but vampires don’t fucking sparkle. It was insulting…

“Harry?” I hadn’t noticed Liam standing behind the couch while I was ranting in my head. I mean hell, it was the first time in a month I thought of anything but blood. It was pretty peaceful.