Back Of The Net

𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖌

I don't wanna live love this way
I don't wanna hide us away
I wonder if it ever will change
I'm living for that day, someday
When you hold me in the street
And you kiss me on the dance floor
I wish that we could be like that
Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours

Why can't you hold me in the street?
Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't it be like that? 'Cause I'm yours
Why can't I say that I'm in love?
I wanna shout it from the rooftops
I wish that it could be like that
Why can't we be like that? 'Cause I'm yours

Secret Love Song ~
Litte Mix

A Random Day in early June 2022

It was the day of England Camp to begin for the Euros 2022, this would be tough because I know that Viv is in the country and we have so many of the best football players in England right now.

We were training in Saint George's Park until two weeks time just before our first friendly game before the Euro's where we would be moving to a hotel, close to a training ground, so every team had the same treatment.

But I was struggling myself, I wanted to let people know about me and Viv, we had been together for so long, and I didn't want to have to cut out so much of our personal lives in vlogs. Like we cut out so much because we were so together in our lives.

And I didn't want to hide anymore, people were so suspicious but I couldn't hold it in anymore, literally the only people who knew were Jill, Daan, Lucy and Kiera, and that was it in all.

I wanted to at least be able to show it in front of our team mates, but I knew how Viv felt on the matter.

She wanted to hide it, to protect me, she says, because no one knows how gay I really am, especially after people think I'm one of the few straight female football players because of my time on Love Island.

But really I know it was because she didn't want us to face the torrent of abuse she did when she came out to being in a relationship with Lisa Evans, before they broke up a few months into arriving at Arsenal, even if they didn't live with each other.

And I knew the second I tried to bring it up she would keep avoiding the subject. She just didn't want to talk about it, and as much as I respected it, I wanted to tell the girls, and let them all know. It was getting harder and harder to hide it all.

But I needed to get this conversation over and done with now, I need to know where I stand with Viv on this matter.

~~

I was packing all of my things up that I would need for camp, over the next almost two months, really we were barely gonna see each other even if we weren't gonna be in two different countries this time.

I hadn't spoken to Viv since last night as we had a mini argument over all of this as we just couldn't seem to agree to this.

I looked up and I saw Viv stood in the doorway as she had already packed up her bags, as she had to leave in 20 minutes.

"Hey." I told her as I went to place my boot bag next to my suit case, which just needed to be zipped up after I placed some random things in it.

"Hey." Viv told me as she walked forward and I moved back so i was sat on top of the bed as she moved closer to me.

"I'm sorry." Viv told me as she held my hand leaning forward slightly to hold it.

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have........." I started to tell her as I shook my head.