Haly's Circus ~ Jerome x reader

18: Birthday present

Jerome pov:

Shit man, why did I bring that up from the diary? I want to have as few secrets as possible for y/n. And the less anyone knows, the better.

Without realizing it, I think about the last time I wrote in my diary, which is already 8 years ago if not more. No! Do not! I squeeze my eyes shut to suppress the emerging images. It will not work. The play button in my head has already been pressed.

I was scared to death Saturday night. Suddenly she was behind me in my bedroom. While I still sneaked so softly through the trailer. Halfway through I thought: what am I doing? Do I report myself to my mother and tell her honestly why I was ten minutes late? Or let her sleep? I chose the last option.
Wrong choice.
Stupid.
My mother wasn't asleep yet.
"So," she said. "This was not the deal." The dark tone in her voice sent the familiar shiver down my spine. "S-sorry," I stammered. "B-but I-I can explain."

Just as I was about to turn to her, she grabbed both of my upper arms. Roughly she pulled me back. Something snapped in my shoulder. Then she let go of one arm abruptly. I staggered, but that was also because he kicked me earlier. And of course, my mother believed him again.

Him. I hate him. He ruined everything.

"Look at me!" she commanded with a jerk on my other arm. I turned my head a quarter turn. One wrong word or one wrong look and she would explode. "Sorry mom," I begin cautiously. "I didn't mean to, but-"
"Were you bullying your brother again?"
"Him?" I repeated, genuinely surprised. "Why would I-"
"Don't lie, Jerome!" Her eyebrows could just cut through her eyes at any moment. She seems so angry. "I do not do that. I don't. There was something wrong with the clairvoyant's tent and therefore-"
She interrupts me with that devilish laugh of hers. "Hey! And you think I believe you? stupid."

I began to list reasons why the clairvoyant needed me. Because he is blind. "No!" I unintentionally shouted loudly. Too hard. She stared. Her eyes narrowed. The muscles in her jaws rolled and she blew into my face. These threatening seconds... I knew what was coming. Yet the first blow came unexpectedly. I hid my face with my hands. She clawed her fingers into my upper arm and neck. Her breath billowed in my face. I accidentally stepped on her bare feet. She cursed. Grabbed me by the throat. Seconds long.

Air! I couldn't breathe! "Mom!" My brother suddenly shouted shrilly. "He hurt me so much didn't he!" Fucked kid. He does everything he can to be mom's favorite. He already is. Then he shows a 'blue spot' on his arm. Which I supposedly caused for sure. Even from here, I could tell it was fake. After a hesitation, my mother slackened her grip on my neck. Coughing I took a breath. A moment later, when I was curled up in my bed with my head pounding, it whimpered through me: ten minutes. If only I had been home ten minutes earlier. Anger flared up. To the outside world, she is Lila Valeska, the cheerful snake dancer. But at home, she's a monster.

Suddenly I'm startled out of my thoughts; y/n throws a huge cup full of water over me. "Nice daydreaming?"
"Have you finished writing in your journal yet?" I'll pop out for a while. She gives me a kiss on my cheek. Jitters immediately shoot through my stomach. "It's almost 2 o'clock, by the way. And yes, I'm done. All set for my first crime with you."
"On your birthday." She nods.
Exciting, the chance that she will get in touch with her father is quite high. Hopefully that mask covers just enough for him not to recognize her.

~

We are crammed together in a fire truck. Aaron is at the wheel and y/n is just small enough that she can sit on my lap. Greenwood sits next to us. I form binoculars in front of my eyes with my hands. Y/n laughs. "I spy with my little eye, something that is...
Yellow." Her smile gives me butterflies in my stomach. She's the only one who can make me feel this way, and I give her a kiss on her neck. Finally. The bus with Gotham's cheerleader team has arrived. Now we can stop their bus by distracting them with the fire engine.
"YAYY GOTHAM!" Screams y/n. She gets off my lap and runs outside, I think she hung on the side of our car with Arnold. I point straight at the yellow bus, which we are now following at full speed.