𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍 / 𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀

ستة - 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙛𝙩

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙞𝙭 — 𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙛𝙩

jamilah woke up a couple hours later when her alarm went off. she was still exhausted but work was work, and she really hated missing it. when she didn't go, her pay cheques were exceptionally smaller, leaving her with nothing to send her mum.

a lot of the time she only called out because kaazim was being overbearing or because she had swelling that she couldn't hide very well. luckily, her boss was very understanding of her need to call out. part of her was sure he noticed the bruises, or maybe he didn't care because he knew she'd pull 18 hour shifts everyday to make up for her missed days.

jamilah felt like kaz knew what he was doing when he hurt her, forcing her to the confines of his apartment. he didn't allow her to do much of anything.

she thought about their relationship all the time. it plagued her mind for what felt like forever. she only stayed because of his family's finances, not because she thought he'd change or that they could work out. she was motivated by getting her degree and eventually it'd pay off.

at least, she hoped it would.

with a sigh, she got out of bed and shuffled to abdul's closet. he was a lot taller than her so hardly any of his clothes would fit. really, she just needed something to wear to her flat. her clothes reeked of alcohol and no amount of perfumes could fix that.

jamilah lived with her aunt, nikole, but stayed with kaazim a lot of the time so he wouldn't blow up on her.

being with kaz was difficult enough but breaking up with him was a completely different situation. they were always on and off, mostly off in her eyes, but he never changed his behavior.

at first she thought it was because she didn't give him reason too. but time showed he was just stuck in his ways, desperate to be something he wasn't so he could fit in where he didn't belong. 'why do the men in my life all get drawn to the streets?' it wasn't a question she wanted to dwell on.

jamilah got dressed in a grey nike track suit, smiling at the smell stuck in the fabric. she could tell abdul had worn it recently because the scent of his cologne was strong. she grabbed her belongings, deciding she didn't care too much for her own clothes, and left, walking the thirty minutes to her aunts.

she made sure to text her coworker, eimaan, that she was running late for her shift and would need a ride to work.

"jamilah, is that you?" nikole called from the living room.

"mhm." she hummed tiredly, tossing her keys in the bowl by the door.

"are you hungry?"

jamilah hadn't eaten properly in days but she honestly didn't have an appetite. "no."

nikole kissed her teeth, "you're never hungry these days."

"okay, make me something for lunch," she responded, not wanting to argue about her eating habits. "and tea, please, my throat's sore."

nikole made a lot of noise as she went to the kitchen, indirectly telling her niece that she was irritated. "you shouldn't be drinking. you know alcohol isn't halal." she muttered rather loudly.

jamilah stood in the hall for a moment, rubbing her eyes. she wasn't in the mood today. "shukran."

she went to her room to grab her work clothes before taking a quick shower.

as gross as it sounded, jamilah hated showering. it wasn't so much the act of cleaning herself, rather the time it took and how uncontrollable her thoughts were. it was as if her brain instinctively began to think about all things she was putting off. and there wasn't a way to turn it off because it would all creep up on her again.

"i packed your food. also, i spoke to caimile today, make sure to call her back." nikole said from outside the door. "you shouldn't go too long without speaking to your mum, it's not good."

jamilah opened it a little. "alright, can you pack my bag too?"

nikole sucked her teeth, complaining once more. "agh! wallah, you're like a child, so needy. remind me when your wedding is again?"

"not any time soon. inshallah." jamilah said the last part in her head.

"good, because i need you to be a good wife. that means being orderly and staying to a schedule." her aunt started lecturing her.

"please, nik, i'm already late as is."

"fine, but this is the last time."

she knew nikole didn't fully mean the things she said. quite frankly, the women just enjoyed complaining. besides, she was a busy body and would've packed jamilah's bag regardless, complaining about it until her niece left. it was what she did best.

"shukran."

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