𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍 / 𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀

أحد عشر - 𝙙𝙤𝙙𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 — 𝙙𝙤𝙙𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮

the seasons were changing but it didn't seem like it. the weather was only a bit colder than it had been weeks before and for that reason, jamilah refused to pull her huge coat out from the depths of her closet. she really wanted something smaller but never found time to buy anything.

abdul fussed as she climbed in his car, shoes half on and hair falling out of the sloppy bun she had done.

"what the fuck are you wearin'?" he laughed. "jamilah, go back and get your coat."

"can't."

"why not?"

she looked at him, eyes glittering as she smiled some. "i don't have my keys and nikole says i can't come back until i've gotten my act together."

jamilah had been honest with nikole for once about where she was going and it backfired.

"it's late, where are you headed?" nikole asked.

"i'm goin' to a party." jamilah had been too busy texting abdul to remember to grab her keys.

"jamilah you can't go out partyin' all the time. god knows you need to learn how to manage a household."

"here you go again, this is why i never tell you anything anymore."

"you can't keep this up. does kaz know? how will he feel knowing you're out all the time getting drunk?"

"i really don't wanna worry about that now." nothing nikole was saying was a priority for her.

nikole grew irritated. "you always say that! when will you worry about it?"

she looked her aunt in the eye, "when allah sends me a sign that i'm doin' the right thing! for my own life!"

"and this is what he's sayin' you should do!? party and drink all night?!"

jamilah kissed her teeth. "nikole, you can't be serious right now."

"why is so hard for you to just do what you're supposed to!?" nikole rose her voice.

"that's easy for you to say when you don't have to worry about the things i do! you don't understand how difficult it is dealing with all the shit everyone puts me through. i just want to have fun and not be stressed out all the time."

nikole scoffed."what do you deal with? huh? i swear you just go out partying all the time! you come home like a mess, tired and hungover, hours before work! and i'm supposed to coddle you 'cos you're stressed?! 'oh nikole pack my lucnch, make me tea, i'm so tired' you act like a child! you need to get serious about your life."

"i am serious! i literally work two jobs with barely any days off! i keep up with my school work and study all the time! and that's on top of dealing with kaz. so what if i party? it's literally not doing anything to jeopardise up my future. i manage just fine."

"you're going to ruin your relationship." she warned.

"good! i don't even like being with him! did you forget that i fucking hate him!? i hate him, but no one cares about that, huh?"

"you aren't even trying to like him! you're being childish. what about kwame?"

jamilah threw her hands up in defeat. she didn't want to go in circles. "nikole, i don't wanna have this conversation." she opened the door, trying to avoid having that talk. "i love you."

"mhm. be safe! and don't come back until you're ready to be an adult and have an adult conversation!" nikole called down the hall before doing up the locks.

jamilah let her hair down, fluffing the loose curls around her face. she was a bit irked that she didn't have time to style her hair properly. but the humidity would cause it to shrink and it wouldn't look nearly as nice, so she couldn't be too upset. it looked decent enough.

"we'll stop by mine." he pulled off, shaking his head a little.

"no, just go. i don't need a coat, abra." she told him, scrolling through instagram stories. "it'll be fine."

"you'll get sick." he glossed over her calling him by his street name, he wasn't sure if he liked it.

"you'll make sure that doesn't happen."

abdul rolled his eyes and still drove to his flat. she was right, he'd make sure by getting her a jacket.

the party was being hosted by his friend after a video shoot, so it wasn't like he was in a rush to go. there weren't going to be many people he didn't know, still, he wasn't into partying, only ever going to raves because those were always entertaining. that's why he invited jamilah. he didn't want to be bored.

"since we're going to yours can i wear one of your trackies?" jamilah glanced over at him.

"what's wrong with what you've got on?"

jamilah was wearing a brown spaghetti strap tank top under a slightly oversized letterman jacket that was coloured shades of brown, with her black, bleach washed, cargo pants.

"i don't know." she mumbled. she had tried to look nice but suddenly felt weird about doing so. she was certain other girls would be wearing dresses and heels but that wasn't her. and anytime she wore anything that showed skin, kaz would berate her. so she tried steering clear of those things. part of her was afraid to stand out. "i look like one of the mandem."

abdul let out a laugh. "nah, you look good."

she slouched in her seat, blushing a little at the compliment. "you better think so."

"what're you doing this weekend?" he changed the subject.

"i don't know, i might take an extra shift at work." she stared out the window, thinking over her obligations for the rest of the week. "...i don't know though."

"let me take you out."

"out where?" she looked at him hesitantly. jamilah didn't want to agree to go somewhere and not be able to make it.

"wherever you wanna go." he offered. part of him was prepared to hear her say no. obviously they couldn't go out the way he wanted to since she was paranoid about kaz finding out about them.

"i don't know... i don't mind chilling at your yard."

he kissed his teeth, pulling up to his apartment. "like, outside, jamilah."

"out where though? i don't know." she got out the car, giggling as she tried to think of something. "do you like-"

he cut her off. "what do you wanna do?"

she wrapped her arms around his neck, pouting up at him. "i don't know... i just wanna chill with you."

abdul looked her over slowly, a smile taking over his face. she made him feel something different, something he couldn't explain properly. it was like all the clouds in the sky lifted him off the ground whenever she was around. there wasn't a word to describe it but what he felt was somewhere between a day dream and reality.

he really loved this girl and she didn't even know it.

jamilah patiently waited for him to kiss her. she found herself craving his kisses whenever they were together.

abdul pecked her lips before sending her inside with his keys. "grab somethin' warm."

"mhm." she hummed as she skipped up the sidewalk. she already knew which of his jackets she wanted to wear.

"i'm not playin' with you. and do up my locks!"

"okay!" she tossed a smile over her shoulder before going into the building. "i will."

he loved her a lot.