𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍 / 𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀

سبعة عشر - 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙣 — 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

jamilah could only credit allah for her not being at kaazim's flat when the video of her from the other night started spreading around. someone on junebug's private story had screen recorded the snaps and sent them to a big drama page on instagram for everyone to see.

none of the guys cared about it being posted, they would've said it regardless, private or public. the only reason junebug had even put it on his private snap story to begin with was because jamilah had been paranoid about this exact thing happening.

"fuck the otherside. o way or no way, get right, get left, or get stretched. grrt." she was slurring her words a little.

"fuck the opps." cevon laughed loudly.

"fuck the nine. dem man are pussies."

"on god, fuck the whole of the nine!" jamilah was beaming. "fuck kano. fuck EJ, tyler. fuck mazeen."

karyme came into the frame chewing her bubble gum. "and especially fuck that goofy ass nigga AK. he only does verbal on the net. we know you aren't on piss, you waste man. that's why stark got put in a spliff."

"swear down! man ran from PR with his shank in hand and left his boy for dead." jamilah said as the snap came to an end. the next one started, catching her mid sentence, "...getting down my man and my man, but he's a bloodclart pussio! blade ain't touched no one."

kemani waved his gun. "don't let man catch you 'round these sides, 'cah this g lot leave your brains splattered."

"dem man aren't on piss, dem boy there are likkle man." cevon said and karyme cackled in agreement.

the recording ended there. when she first watched it back jamilah laughed. partially from shock. it was unreal. she looked genuinely happy. she almost didn't recognize herself.

junebug didn't want to tell her who leaked the video, just that he and dezzie would handle it.

abdul was laying next to her as her phone rang from the floor beside the bed. it had fallen while they were messing about.

she ignored it, burying her face in the pillows. "i wish he'd stop calling." she was too high to be dealing with him right now. she had just finished a spliff so her mind was somewhere else.

"just answer it." abdul grumbled, tired of kaazim blowing her up.

she huffed and reached blindly for her cell until she came across it. she accepted the call and placed it to her ear. "yeah?"

"yeah? jamilah are you a fuckin' idiot? man told you not to be hangin' around my opps. why are bare man sending me this video of you dissin' man?" she could imagine his face twisted in an ugly scowl. "tell me this shit is fake. you were just at my fuckin' yard gettin' ready to have dinner with my mumzy."

"yeah, i was." she giggled.

kaazim was taken aback by her humored vagueness. "you were what?"

"just at your yard. hamdullah, i'm not there." she turned her head, smiling at abra.

"so is this shit fake or not?" he barked. "you're testin' my patience."

"nah, i can't lie, it is." she confessed though her answer didn't clarify what she meant.

"are you taking the piss, jamilah? you tryna do mans head in?" he boomed through the speaker.

"how? i just told you it's me."

"makin' me look like an idiot 'cos you don't listen." he muttered angrily.

jamilah played with the single gold chain around her neck, sliding her finger back and forth over the warm metal. "i didn't do anything."

"don't play dumb. why the fuck are you hangin' around my opps? i specifically told you i weren't havin' that." he breathed heavily. "you and my man are all over socials doing a mazza. bare man have sent me snaps of you lot. and apparently, it's not been just this one time either. this is what you're doin' now?"

jamilah blanked out for a moment, not listening to a word he said. when she tuned back in he was still shouting about.

"...jamilah, 'cause i don't wanna have to kill your friends." kaz threatened, voice tight.

fear filtered into her bloodstream. this was why she didn't leave, because part of her was afraid it would break his already fragile mental state. he had only ever the audacity to hurt her, but if they weren't together that anger could roll over onto her family.

as much as she didn't like them, they didn't deserve to be targeted.

"kaazim," she said his name slowly, feeling exhausted just having to speak to him. "it's not fair that you're able to go and be with whoever and expect me to stay loyal. why should i continue to put effort into a relationship that doesn't work? i just want to have friends and be normal."

"that's your place. are you goin' to act this way when man takes on other wives?" he casually brushed her off, making it seem as if it weren't a big deal. the change in his demeanor made jamilah feel a bit crazy.

"well... i don't wanna be with you, so we're done, i've already dead everything. okay?" she yawned.

"that nigga's in your ear ain't he?" he snorted, full of himself. "you're mine, you know that, jamilah. why do you try so hard to leave me? just stop or you're gonna vex me, still. you've already done my head in. so just come home and apologise."

she almost wanted to cry. they'd done this so many times that he didn't even take her seriously. but she couldn't even get teary eyed. the cycle went on and on, and jamilah was finally tired.

"i'm serious." she hadn't been this angry in so long. she knew it was partially her fault that she was in this position. she decided to put up with his behavior for so long, making excuses when he didn't deserve anything from her.  "i can't do this. it's so much, constantly."

"stop fucking about, jamilah." he said through gritted teeth. "what's your issue today?"

she wanted to explode. "my issue, kaazim? you have the nerve to ask why i try so hard to leave?" having to explain what he'd done wrong was emotionally taxing but jamilah still did her best to gather all her thoughts. "you throw your money in my face always. i don't want you to take care of me or my family. then, you put your hands on me but only give verbal to your opps. you went pen for domestic charges and come out tellin' man you got down him and him— it's the fuckin' audacity!"

"i told you i weren't gonna hit you no more." he said calmly, vexing her even more. he never took her complaints seriously. "so fix your tone."

"and i'm an idiot for believing that, 'cah you were always doing in my head with lies. i don't want this for the rest of my life." she hadn't meant to get loud but she was fuming. "so i'm done, for real this time, kaz."

abdul had been listening to the conversation and it vexed him hearing the way kaazim spoke to her. he plucked the phone from her and she jumped a bit. he sucked his teeth, closing his eyes  moment. he was n't upset at her reaction, rather everything that she'd gone through that made her react like that. "it's calm, you're done."

she didn't put up a fight to get it back. "yo, ahk, don't call again, unless you want problems." he said firmly before having up and tossing the phone aside.

jamilah stayed silent, waiting to feel regret but it never came.