Lifestyle

[15] "Oh yal mutha fuckas done started some now."

Nicole had a nice set up at diner. There was nothing but good ole southern food. Mash potatoes, fried chicken, red beans and rice, stream beans, collard greens, corn, and she had some peach cobbler sitting in the kitchen for dessert.
"Damn ma, you went all out!" Jamal exclaimed.
Nicole grabbed him by his ear and brought him down to her eye level. "What I told yo ass bout cussin!?" Everyone there snickered. "Don't get embarrassed Jamal."
"Alright. Alright." She released him and he rubbed his ear.
Everyone went to their seats at the table. Nicole and Brandon sat at the head of the table; Naomi and Trent sat next to Camay and Brian; Akia and Rodney sat across from them. Darnell and Essence sat across from eachother down by Brandon; and Jamal and Ebony sat across from each other down by Nicole.
"Brian say grace." Nicole demanded.
"Or you can ask me."
"Or you can say it."
"Oh my gosh yal." Naomi interrupted. "Let's act like we got some sense in front of our kids and their girlfriends."
"Ew. There's that 'G' word again." Jamal shivered.
Ebony gave him a look, but it went unnoticed.
"Alright, I'll pray." Trent said gettin up.
"Hell no!" Brandon exclaimed. "We tryna make it into heaven, not halfway to hell."
All the kids chuckled. Ebony and Essence didn't realize how chill and relaxed their family really was.
"Well how bout our guest pray." Camay suggest.
"At this point, ion really give a fuck." Trent said.
"A bitch just tryna eat." Naomi concluded.
"Oh my fuckin goodness." Nicole mumbled. "Ion see why Brian ass can't pray! He the fuckin pastor!"
"Hold on ni. Who you talkin to?!" Brian said.
"Well I wasn't talkin to, but I was talkin about cha!"
"Now I know you ain't talkin to me!" Brian said jumping up and knocking over the mash potatoes into the corn.
Everyone gasped.
Nicole rose slowly from her seat. "Now I know damn well you ain't knock over my mash potatoes."
"Yes. I. Did."
"Oh really." Nicole grabbed the bowl of red beans and flung it over in Brian's direction. It got all over him and Camay. "Oops."
"Nicole!" Camay screamed. "You so fuckin childish!"
"Fuck that shit! Yo husband the one that started it!"
"And imma finish it!"
Camay grabbed a hand full of mashed collard greens and threw it at Nicole. It hit her right in the face.
Brandon then jumped up and tossed the stream beans. Instead of going in the direction of Camay it got on Trent and Naomi.
"Oh yal mutha fuckas done started some now."
The family broke out into a full blown food fight. Ebony was dodging everything. Essence was amazed at the scenery. Jamal was catching food with his plate and eating as the fight went on. Akia and Rodney retreated under the table. Darnell was dying laughing.
Jessica came around the corner and saw the mess her family was creating. She was furious because she knew she was gonna have to clean it up.
"Hey!" She yelled. "What is going on here?!"
Everyone snapped their head in her direction. "What the fuck is he doin here?!" Jamal said referring to Malcom.
Nicole slapped Jamal on the back of the head. "Shut up boy! I said he could come over."
"But moma-"
"Hush!"
Nicole turned her attention back to the handsome young man standing with her daughter.
"Well who is this lil nigga?" Brandon said.
Oh shit. That was one person Nicole probably couldn't keep from Jessica's lil boyfriend.
"Malcolm." He reached his hand out and shook with Brandon.
"So this the lil fucker that want my niece." Trent said coming to stand next to Brandon.
"Oh my gosh." Naomi bust through the men. "Ignore them baby. They missin a few brain cells."
"Mhm. I'm sure yo ass missin some too. Camay knocked the fuck out yo ass with that chicken breast." Trent said.
Naomi punched him in his arm. Nicole snapped back into reality and looked over her dinning room.
"Oh my gosh. Look at this mess!"
She then looked at Ebony and Essence. "Girls, I am so sorry. We didn't even get to know yal."
"Or eat." Darnell added.
"Darnell if you don't hush!"
"Yes ma'am."
"It's ok." Essence reassured her.
"Yea. We still had a good time." Ebony included.
"Ugh. This all went so wrong." Nicole pouted.
"Nicole we'll help you clean." Camay said.
"Yea. We all created this mess." Naomi agreed.
Brandon, Brian, and Trent tried to sneak out but Rodney caught them just in time.
"Dad! Unc! Yal ain't gon help ya wives clean up?"
They glared at Rodney and he died laughing.
"Oh yea. They are!" Naomi said.
"But baby-"
"Don't play with me Trent. I've held out on you once, don't make me do it again."
He put his head down. "Fine."
"Girls if it's one thing I learned as a woman it's this," Nicole started. "Pussy runs everything. It makes a man go weak."
"Believe that!" Camay agreed.
"Ewww." Akia said. "Nobody wants to hear about you guys sex life."
"Kill the visual Jesus!" Jamal said covering his eyes.
"Whatever boy!" Camay said pushing him.
"I still wanna make it up to yal though." Nicole said looking at the girls. "Ok look, how bout yal spend the night. Yal can sleep in the movie room."
"Uh baby. You sure you trust the guys enough for that?" Brandon asked.
"It's not the guys I trust, it's the girls."
"But if yal fuckin, wrap it up." Naomi added.
"Ain't nobody gon be fuckin!" Brandon and Brian shouted simultaneously.
"Yal calm the fuck down." Nicole said. She redirected her attention to Ebony and Essence. "Yal cool with that?"
"Yes."
"Perfect. I'll go set out clothes for you now."
As Nicole desended up the steps, all the adults got started on cleaning the dinning room. The kids went back out by the pool and waited to be called in for a movie later.
"Still star struck?" Darnell asked Essence.
"Hell no."