Absalom had an unconscious Nami in a wedding dress, and he was planning on kissing her, but then-
???: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMI!!!!!
Sanji comes running in and then he kicks the priest.
Absalom: WHAT THE?!
Sanji then kicks Absalom into Gray, who uppercuts him!
Absalom: WHAT THE?!
Sanji: Oh Nami, I've come for you, you beautiful angel.
Absalom: WHY YOU!!! HANDS OF THE DEAD!!!
He begins to stretch his arms out and fires explosions!
Sanji moves Nami out of the way.
Sanji: HEY ASSHOLE! DON'T YOU DARE GET NAMI HURT!! BROCHETTE BLOW!! ESCALOPE!!! EXTRA HACHIS!! BAD MANNER KICK COURSE!!!
The Straw Hat Cook kicks the ever living shit out of Absalom and sends him flying into several pillars.
Absalom: YOU WASTE OF-
He tumbles over.
Sanji: Don't try and be funny, I know you have bazooks under those arms.
Absalom's skin turned pure white at that.
And then Sanji gritted his teeth.
Sanji: And I know you ate the Clear Clear Fruit!
Gray: WHAT?!
Absalom: How do you know?
Sanji: When I was a kid, I scoured the encyclopedia of Devil Fruits. I was very uninterested in it. But then I saw the Clear Clear Fruit, and I said to myself then, if I ever found it, I would devour said fruit and live with the curse. Of course, there's only one kind of each Devil Fruit, and YOU STOLE MY DREAM!! I COULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH FOR-
Gray: OH MY GOD!! YOU JUST WANT TO USE IT TO PEAK AT NAKED GIRLS!!!!
Sanji: AGH! GRAY, PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!!
Gray: OH COME ON!!!
Absalom: THAT IS THE PETTIESTTHING I'VE EVER HEARD YOU, JEALOUS PERVERT!!!
Gray: Oh God, this is going exactly as I think it is.
In Gray's Mind:
Sanji: SHUT IT!!!
Sanji kicks Absalom again.
Absalom: THAT'S IT!!!
He throws his coat off.
His body was covered with elephant skin and bear and gorilla muscles!
Absalom: Scared now? Dr. Hogback modified me, so I'm much stronger than I am before!
Sanji: OH SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
He continues to make a fool out of Absalom, who then turns himself invisible.
Sanji uses some of the smoke from his cigarette in order to identify him!
And then Gray throws salt!
Absalom: WHAT THE?!
With that, Gray finds him and-
Gray: ICE MAKE: TIME CAPSULE!
YOU ARE READING
Age of Pirates (Redux)
FanfictionHey guys, this is a story in development! I'm going to try and redo Age of Pirates in a different way! I added way too many characters to the crew, and that got really hectic, so I decided to give it a new try, while making it different! Hope you g...
