The Bad Boy Borrowed My Tampon (undergoing serious editing)

Nightmares,family and shrinks

A/N
NOT YET EDITED
***
"No please stop! I can't,please no!" I cried out. My voice was supposed to come out loud and strong but it was barely a whisper.
"You deserve this you slag." He Whispered into my ear as he digged his nails into my bare skin.

I woke up and felt the sweat trickle down my body. The tears started up in my eyes again and I sobbed quietly. I couldn't take it anymore. Prom night had happened well over two months ago but I knew that night changed everything. After I had been attacked by my rapist I couldn't even go outside without feeling like the world was staring at me. Pitying me. Even worse though I always felt like it could happened again. Any minute any second he could come again and attack me. Even though I knew he had been locked up I couldn't help feeling like any second I could be attacked. It wasn't just me who could feel the consequences of that night though. I had barely talked to anyone. That night all my confidence had been taken away. I was no longer Perrie Henderson. I was a measly girl who could barely even look at herself in the mirror. I didn't care about what I looked like anymore. Hell i didn't care about anything. I knew people where trying to help but deep down I think they felt like I was over reacting. I ignored most people and couldn't even face myself to have a proper conversation with anyone. I barely ate,Barely slept. And when I did sleep the most I could do was around 5 hours before being woken up by the nightmares about that night. Charlie was still in coma even after 2 months. I couldn't bring myself to visit her. I had gone once but All the memories came swarming back and I just couldn't take it. Her parents visited her that day I went and they were definitely not what I expected. They were both high end doctors. It felt horrible to see their faces crumple when they saw Charlie. Nathan was struggling too.Even though I told him to stop blaming himself for what happened he couldn't. I turned around and smiled when I saw his sleeping face. He was asleep in my bed after I asked him to sleepover. When I woke up from the nightmares it was better to see him there. This nightmare had been one of the worst though. I brushed the tears off my face and shook him awake.
He rubbed his eyes and switched on the bedside lamp.
"Perrie are you okay?" He asked looking at me his face full of sincere concern.
As I tried to talk I felt my face crumple and the tears fall.
He grabbed me and put me in his arms.
"Shh it's okay Perrie your safe now.I won't let him hurt you. I won't let anyone hurt you. I swear on my life I won't."
I nodded and brushed the tears away.
"Im sorry Nathan. I know im no fun anymore and I can barely go outside without crying in your arms. I know it's not fair on you that your stuck with me. A broken girl that can't do anything for herself anymore. Im damaged goods Nathan Id understand if you didn't want me," I quietly explained.
"Perrie!" he started his voice stern. He cupped my face in his hands and made me look at him.
"You will never ever be damaged goods. I love you Perrie henderson and I will never ever ever leave you," He promised.
"I love you too Nathan so so much," I told him and kissed his cheek. He hugged me and turned the lamp off.
And that's how I fell asleep in Nathans arms.

***
I forked around with my food not really paying attention to my friends. I had just gotten out of gym class and it was now lunch.
"PERRIE," Julia shouted as she snapped her fingers.
"What?! Why are you screaming," I sighed.
"Becasue I called your name over five times but you didn't seem to hear me," She explained.
"Sorry," I mumbled still playing with my food. I felt Julia's stare on me. I looked at her from the corner of my eye so she wouldn't notice.Her and Ben were communicating through their minds. I sighed not really bothering to find out what they were doing and put my tray away. I couldn't find my motivation to stay in school so I just left the canteen and decided to go home. Besides after lunch I had one lesson and then free periods. I found my car in the parking lot and got in it and began my way home.

**

"PERRIE," My mom called up the stairs.
I groaned and made my way down the stairs.
"Yes," I grumbled.
"I need to talk to you come here," She told me.
I nodded and went to sit with her at the table.
"Me and your father have talked and we've decided that we want you to see a therapist," She told me.
My dad knew about what had happened and since he found out him n my mom had been working in a civil manner. At first I detested him being anywhere near me but after a couple of days I just gave up and let him do his role as my dad. I just couldn't find the energy to hate him.
"Mom there's no way im going to see a shrink," I mumbled.
"PERRIE you've been missing classes,you've barely left your room for two months,you don't hang out with any of your friends anymore. You're not acting like yourself it's like you don't want to live anymore," She explained.
"Thats what happens when you get ra-"
I stopped. I couldn't let out that word. I hated it. It bough up memories that I couldn't stand. I felt the tears trickle down my face again and quickly wiped my eyes. I didn't help though. I felt my face crumple and I broke down. My mom hushed me in her arms.
"Shh Perrie i'm here now it's okay," She said as I clung to her. I heard Alex's voice and when he saw me crying he lifted up my chin and made me look at his face.
"Perrie listen to me! You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. The only one that's to blame is the sadistic man that did this,Okay? I just want to f*cking kill him," He groaned.
"Alex language," My mother scowled. He muttered an apology and brought me to his chest. I finished sobbing in his arms and sat on the couch. My mom went into the kitchen after a bit.
"She's right perrie you really do need to see the shrink, you never know it could really help you," He told me.
"Do you think I want to go and express my feelings to some random stranger,"I groaned.
"But what if it really helps?" he asked.
"And what if it doesn't?"
"But it's worth a shot anything to try and help you move on and stop having the nightmares and fear," He said as I rest my chin under his head.
"I love you Perrie and I can't wait for that f*cking piece of scum to rot in prison," He whispered into my hair.
"I love you too Alex your the best twin I could ever ask for," I said.
"Well what can I say," He said jokingly.
I giggled at him. A proper giggle that wasn't forced. Wow I hadn't done that for a while.