The unknown driver

chapter thirty-seven

Charles POV

"Hey brother", Arthur says as he enters my appartment.
"God you look shit. And you should clean up here for once", he says as he looks at me and the state of my appartment. I must admit: I'm not motivated for anything at the moment. And in my defense: cleaning up shouldn't be my first priority after what happend with Amelia. I have to win her back somehow. 
"I don't care", I say and continue playing video games. 
"You don't care about anything anymore Charles", he says with a soft tone and sits down next to me.
"What do you mean?", I ask him and take off my headphones to listen to him.
"Since you're not together with Amelia anymore you don't care about anything anymore. You just sit home all day and do nothing or play video games. We're all worried about you Charles okay? I mean that thing with Amelia can't be that bad"
"Oh belive me it is"
"Well what happend then? I can't help you if you don't tell me."
"Haven't you spoken to Amelia?", I ask him. I thought Amelia would tell him what happend as soon as she's ready but I guess not.
"No she hasn't spoken to me in weeks. I don't even know what happend. She just cut me off basically"
"Don't be mad at her. She's going through a lot at the moment"
"Well then tell me what happend so I can understand and help her"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes?"
"So we went to the club after the GP and I went to the toilet and I left her with Lando and Carlos but when I came back she was gone. They had lost her and we went searching for her. After some time somebody told us she went into a room with a guy and we knocked on the door but nobody opend. But of course I knew she was in there with this guy", I say and chuckle to overplay the pain in my voice.
"She didn't, you know?"
"No but I thought she did too so I left. Lando and Carlos stayed and as it turned out she did not cheat on me but she got raped by this guy. While I was standing outside pounding on the door. And as the fucking idiot I am I just left her there. Lando and Carlos got her out and drove her to the hospital while I was getting drunk in my hotelroom. The next morning I woke up to the missed calls and called Carlos back. I immediately drove to the hospital but she didn't want to see me so I left. Since then I hadn't had talked to her until last week.", A tear runs down my face.
Arthur just remains silent while trying to process what I just told him.
"I'm such a fucking idiot", I say gettin angry. I take up the controler and throw it across the room at a wall. One of the pictures falls down and shatters to pieces.
"Charles you-"
"No don't try to defend me or anything. It was my fucking fault. I shouldn't have let her alone in the first place. It's all my fault and you can't tell me otherwise. I'll never forgive myself that. I just left her there Arthur. Alone and without helping her while she got raped by some man."
I'm not standing in front of him heavy breathing while he just sits there staring to the ground.
Before he can say anything else I walk to my room and close the door behind me. I just stand there for a second. 
How could I let that happen to the person I love the most?
A sudden rush of anger overcomes me and I start smashing stuff. I don't really care what it is I just smash it into pieces.

Amelia POV

"Do you want to tell me about your feelings today?", my therapist asks me.
No I don't. I never want to. Honestly I'm only here because Lando and the others said I had to. I get their point but I don't want to be here. 
I'm releaved as I hear my phone ring.
"Please excuse me for a second", I say and smile before stepping out of the room into the hallway. I take my phone out of my bag and see that it's Arthur. I haven't talked to him since last week or something. I wonder what he wants.
"Hey what-"
"Amelia you need to come now. Charles is smashing everything in his room and now it's quiet but the door is locked and he doesn't answer me."
"What happend Arthur?"
"I wanted to know what happend between you two and you because you were behaving strangely and he told me everything and got so angry at himself that he first threw his controler around before going to his room and locking the door. I just heard him smashing everything and now it's quiet and he isn't answering me. Please Amelia I know what he did but he needs you now. He thinks it was his fault and that he's the reason this happend to you."
Without thinking I say: "Okay give me ten minutes" and hang up the phone. I tell my therapist that I need to leave early and rush out of the office. Quickly I get into my car and start driving there. It wasn't his fault. Never. 
I'm still angry at him but he needs me so I'll come. 
"Is he still inside?", I ask Arthur as I open the door to the appartment. I still got my key.
"Yes he is. He's still not answering", Arthur says and I see the worry on his face.
I nod and walk to the back of the hallway where his room is. 
I knock.
"Charles it's me. Please let me inside I want to talk to you", I say but nothing. I remain silent for a a minute before saying: "Come on Charles. Let me inside. I want to talk to you"
Just as I want to go on I hear the key turn and the door opens. I open the door further and stand there in shock. The pictures are smashed on the ground and also his mirror. The glass peaces are everywhere on the floor. Everything is laying on the ground.
Charles is sitting behind the door with his head in his knees. I quickly rush over to him to see if he's okay.
"Are you okay?", I ask he and he slightly nods.
"Come on look at me"
He lifts his head and I see the tears that rush down his face.
"Oh Charlie". I sit down next to him and take him into my arms. He starts sobbing. 
"I'm so sorry Amelia. It's all my fault", he says and his voice starts to crack. I can feel a sting in my heart as I hear the pain in his voice.
"No it's not Charles. You didn't know."
"But I should've", he says and continues sobbing.
"You didn't know okay? You couldn't have known. If I had been in your position I probably would've reacted the same way."
"I didn't mean to let you down"
"I know Charles", I say and pull him closer to me. 
We remain silent for the next minutes and he calms down a little. As he sits up again I notice that his hand is bleeding.
"What happend?", I ask and take his hand to look at it.
"The mirror.", he says and I look over where it's shatterd in pieces. There's one piece with blood on it.
"Arthur can you please bring me the first aid kit?", I shout and hear him walking our way. He enters the bathroom and comes inside with the kit. He stops in the doorway shortly shocked as he sees what his brother did before he spots us at the floor. 
"Are you okay?", Arthur asks his brother. Charles just looks at the floor and nods ashamed of what he did. He gives me the first aid kit before leaving the room again.
"Don't be ashamed. You had to snap sometime you know?", I say as I bandage his wound. It's a big cut in the palm of his hand.
"No I'm so stupid", he says and looks at me. We link eyes and I can see the pain and the regret in his eyes.
"No you're not. You're just human Charles. Everyone has their problems. You just need to talk about them with somebody."
"I know but I don't have anybody"
"Of course you have. You got your brothers and Lando and Carlos and Pierre and you can always talk to me about your problems"
"You have enough problems your own"
"Yes I do but that doesn't mean that I don't have time to listen to yours. Charles I'm always there for you if you need me"
"Why didn't you answer my calls then when I was alone crying in my room?"
I gulp. He's right. After all he didn't know and it wasn't really his fault. I would've left too if I had been in this situation.
"I'm sorry. I had to sort out some things on my own first."
"Amelia I needed you."
"I know I'm so sorry.", I say and my voice breaks. I'm now crying too. 
"And I still need you.", he adds.
"I'm so sorry Charles I shoul've talked to you. I should've answerd your messages and let you explain yourself too."
He puts his arms around me and pulls me into a hug. 
"Amelia you had every right to be mad at me okay? And you don't have to forgive me. I just want to be completely honest with you. I need you okay? I can't do this without you. You're everything that matters to me. I was an idiot"
"Yes you were", I say and smile a little.
He hugs me tight before we get up.
"I'm sorry I just didn't know who to call and you were the first one on my mind I-"
"Arthur it's okay", I say and go over to him and hug him.
"Thank god. Is everything okay with you too?, he asks Charles.
"Yes it's better now", he says and slightly smiles at me.

I'm about to leave when I get the feeling that I don't want to leave Charles alone here.
"Do you want to come over?", I ask him. He looks at me surprised.
"I don't want to leave you alone here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes I am"

Charles POV

We arrive at Lando's and I take out my bags. I packed them for a few days since Amelia told me it's okay if I stay. She already called Luisa and she's okay with me staying over. Even though she was very surprised by Amelia asking if I can stay for a little.
"Hey mate good to see you", Lando says as we enter the appartment.
"Good to see you too", I say.
"What happend with your hand?", he ask me. I look over to Amelia before I say: "Accident"
He just nods and helps me take my bags to a room. I'll be staying on the couch.
"Dinner's ready", Luisa shouts and we all sit down.
Luisa breaks the silence and asks: "How was therapy today Amelia?"
I look over to Amelia who just looks at me with wide eyes. I didn't know about the therapy.
"As always. It's annoying how she always asks me if I want to speak about my feelings. And you two?"
"Well we were just laying around all day. Boring", Luisa says.
"And you Charles?", Lando asks.
"Video games", I say and continue eating.
"God this winter break is boring", Luisa says.
"Maybe we could go somewhere if you want", Lando says.
"Where?", asks Amelia.
"What do you guys think about skiholidays somewhere in Switzerland?"
"Awesome", Amelia says with a slight smile.
"Yes let's do that", Luisa adds.
"And you Charles?", Amelia asks me.
"Oh you want me to come too?"
"Of course we do Charles", Lando says.
"Uhm yes of course I do"
"Great. We could ask Pierre two if you guys want to", Luisa says.
"Awesome Idea. Today's the 29th. What do you think about leaving tomorrow evening?", says Lando.
"That's great", Amelia says and smiles.
"I'll do the reservation things don't worry", Lando says.
We finish eating dinner before Lando and Luisa start organising everything. Amelia and I wash the dishes and clean everything up before we let ourselfs fall down on the couch.
"Wanna watch a movie?", Amelia asks and I nod. We search a movie and make popcorn. 
After about the half of the movie Amelia falls asleep. I chuckle and after some time I fall asleep too.