Clairvoyant - Changlix

42 - Transparency

(I'm debating whether I want to continue after this or do a time skip and get to the end. At least this is a congruent continuation. I love this story but I'd love to focus on other things. We'll see if I can make a decision before Thanksgiving break. Enjoy family time if you're an American next weekend. Or just enjoy the time off work. Because even I got Thanksgiving day off when I worked in food service, and I got nothing off! Alright, enjoy this sermon from our boy!)

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Felix rubbed Changbin's arm, the fabric surprisingly soft for a button up long-sleeve dress shirt.

He fiddled with his tie, alternating stripes of black and dark blue settling over the white folds. "Yeah. People respect me. I need to be transparent on where I stand."

Changbin gave Felix a reassuring look and took a deep breath. He ruffled the pages of his bible. He couldn't flip to a random page this time. The talk he had prepared didn't initially go over well with pastor Jung. In an act of good faith, he allowed Changbin to speak without seeing his outline and only knowing the topic: It's okay to love God and be gay.

As Changbin left Felix's side and approached the pulpit, he felt the judgment of his peers. This wasn't a talk to convince them to accept him and his friends. It was barely a talk to convince himself. It was to try and set the record straight. He had waited a few weeks for the torrent of rumors to settle down. Next week was their first retreat after everything had come out. He needed to regain their respect and trust if he was going to lead bible discussions.

As much as he could at least.

"Thank you for staying and listening to what I have to present today." Changbin started. "I know this might be controversial to some, but I hope you'll keep an open mind. Let us pray." He waited for the majority of the teens and young adults in front of him to bow their heads, or at least close their eyes, before he followed suit.

"Dear Lord, we come before you as humble servants of God and Jesus as a new generation of worshippers. Times are changing, and I hope to show through your word today your merciful nature upon those who are different. I ask that those hearing my words, inspired by You, will keep an open mind. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."

Only his friends echoed 'amen' back to him.

Felix noticed Changbin narrow his eyebrows briefly in disappointment. This was going to be harder than he thought.

"As you may, or may not, know, my friends and I went to a retreat a few weeks ago." He didn't want to bring this up, but it was the elephant in the room, in a way. "What we thought was a leadership retreat ended up as...something very different. As often happens on retreats, we came out of that experience different men. My friends and I learned things about each other and ourselves that, quite frankly, changed our entire lives, as dramatic as that sounds."

"Shut it!" Minho's shout whisper echoed through the hall more than he expected, covering the slur someone had spoke.

"The point is..." Changbin tried to refocus. "I wanted to open with Matthew 5:12. It says: Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. The hate and vitriol I have received for something I can't control is something I wish upon no one else. As God's people, we must treat..."

"What a selfish talk!" A female voice shouted. "Keep your sins to yourself!"

Changbin ignored her. "Let me tell you a story about the Eunuchs. In their time, written about in the book of Isaiah, they were considered sexually other. They were different from the norm, and were considered outcasts. In Isaiah 56 3-5, the Bible says: Let no foreigner who is bound to the LORD say, "The LORD will surely exclude me from his people." And let no Eunuch complain, "I am only a dry tree." For this is what the LORD says: "To the Eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose what pleases me and hold fast to my covenant—to them I will give within my temple and its walls a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that will endure forever. God gave them a place to be included. A chance to show that despite their status of being outcasts, that they can be accepted If they worshipped the true God. Have you ever felt left out or betrayed because of who you are?"

He shook his head in disbelief, knowing he wasn't the only one who felt this. His speech became more energized.

"Let's say you have a quirk, a mannerism, that you have been doing since you were a kid. One day, someone decided that your quirk was so horrible that they hated you. You don't know what you did wrong. You didn't change. You didn't directly offend them. You were being yourself and suddenly, without any warning or chance to explain yourself, the rumor spread. Now it's not only the stranger who noticed your quirk, but your friends shut you out too. Your friends never asked you why you were suddenly hated, they just trusted the rumor mill. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. That's Proverbs 15:4. Can I get an amen if your spirit has been crushed by the harsh words of others?"

Changbin left room for responses. He was surprised he remembered the verse from Proverbs. Another random find underneath the willow tree from before he met Felix. Because that seemed to be how he measured time now. His friends quickly piped up with support, but when the silence rose again, he heard it break with soft murmurs of agreement.

Maybe it wasn't much, but Changbin smiled as he continued, knowing it might have created a crack through the thick wall of homophobia.