Clairvoyant - Changlix

27 - Stumped

(Happy birthday to the singer extraordinaire Seungmin! How was his voice so good in the Hellevator pre-debut performance, and now it's even better??!?!! It's admirable how hard he works to get better, just like everyone in SKZ, which is why I stan so hard. 

Okay, this is my favorite chapter I've written. That or the vision in the next one. However, there is some encouragement of self-harm, so please take care. Don't ever hurt yourself on purpose, and not just cutting. I hurt myself last week and been kind of a major asshole to myself as of late. Also, I did some research about gay conversion therapy retreats, and this seems like a legit activity that they could pull off. All of it ridiculous. This is my brain's version of a ridiculous and also sad exercise to make you question your thoughts. Anyway, thanks for reading!)

Breakfast was surprisingly uneventful. Sure, they got some stares, especially after Junior decided to eat with them, but that was expected. They were the beaus of the ball yesterday, and the staff has suspicions that they would continue to be. After the meal, everyone was led outside into a clearing in the forest behind the cabin. The fact that the sky wasn't clear blue made Changbin nervous. Anything close to rain might invoke God's wrath upon his choice to continually sin with Felix. He didn't show this discomfort to his friends, thinking, ironically, it might work itself out through this retreat. Changbin reached for Felix's hand, not quite caring if he was caught.

"You okay, Binnie?" Felix brought himself closer to Changbin so they could touch shoulders.

"It looks like it's about to rain." He responded solemnly, glancing up at the sky.

"Oh..." Felix remembered why he didn't like the rain. "We're here for you. I'll make sure you can see me no matter how hard it rains, okay?"

Changbin wished Felix weren't so romantic, because it made him want to kiss his pseudo boyfriend in the homophobic environment they found themselves in. The lingering question of 'are they or aren't they' became more pressing ever since Han and Minho decided they definitely were. It's not like they overshadowed his budding relationship with Felix. His literally loud friends being figuratively loud didn't bother him. It did, however, make Changbin feel the need to figure out his feelings faster than he might have, had they not come out so quickly and openly.

He looked in their direction and smiled. They unabashedly held hands and exchanged smiles, as if they both were waiting for the other to confess for years. Perhaps that was the case, and Changbin could write his own hesitancy off to his friendship with Felix being so new. The group arrived at their destination, and saw several tree stumps in the clearing. Changbin had grown an affection for trees through his many real and not so real picnics with Felix. It made him sad to see them ruined and displayed like this. Maybe there was another reason for this peculiar anomaly.

"Welcome, gentlemen, to the forest of faith." Laz tried to be loud and majestic, but his vocal quality prevented him from sounding that way. "In Psalm 96, verses 12 and 13, it says: Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. Let all creation rejoice before the Lord, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his faithfulness." He gave the mischievous boys a look when he talked about the judgment from verse 13, though he attempted to look across the entire captive audience he had. "This exercise will be a test in upholding your righteousness and staying faithful to the Lord!"

Chan grumbled in the direction of his friends. "I'm checking this in context when we get back..."

He was well known as the resident bible nerd, though Seungmin came in at a close second. Changbin thought of Seungmin and his bible knowledge. He suddenly wondered why Seungmin and Jeongin weren't here with them. Or further, how they were dealing with pastor Jung back home.