Miranda went to therapy for a week straight before she was cleared to do surgery. When she was finally finished she didn't let anyone know that she was back officially. She just scheduled two surgeries and left it at that.
Even though she completed therapy Miranda honestly didn't know if it helped any at all because she was still having flashbacks and or nightmares. On the nights she didn't have nightmares she didn't sleep at all. She would aimlessly stare at the ceiling all night long until her alarm clock went off. If it weren't for Tuck she would probably go insane.
Miranda looked at all the text messages Ben sent her and his old voicemails. She felt absolutely horrible to be dragging him through this. She knew that she needed to break up with him because she wasn't ready. She wasn't herself and she wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship right now. No matter how much she loved him.
On a Tuesday night Miranda walked outside after work towards the parking. What she didn't expect was to see Ben sitting on the bench outside. She wondered how long he had been out there. It was cold outside today.
Ben looked up when he saw her making her way down the path. She was so beautiful he thought to himself. He hadn't seen her in weeks and seeing her now made his aching heart ease up some.
He stood up to meet her halfway and had a light smile on his face, but her face didn't mirror his.
"Miranda um-um I was playing golf and we had plans. I went to go get our food and I had no idea that all of that was going on until it was too late." Ben said nervously. "It was too late." He added blowing out a breath.
Miranda stared at him and he held her gazed. He saw that her eyes were starting to water. "I'm sorry." He said softly and paused to look at her.
"I missed you so much." Ben said and walked closer to her, grabbing her arms about to pull her into his chest, something he had been yearning to do for weeks now.
"You're- you're a good man... you are handsome and kind and smart and good, you're perfect, but um- I'm busy holding myself together with tape and glue and a selfish piece of me wishes that you hadn't been playing golf because then you would be all taped and glued too and then maybe you'd be where I am." Miranda responded getting choked up on her words.
Ben started to say something but then she started crying, and he didn't want to upset her even more, he knew she'd been through a lot. He hated to see her cry. It caused his chest to hurt.
Miranda tried to let go of his hands, but he intertwined theirs together. "You are too much for me right now cause I'm busy with the tape and the glue." She said in between her sniffles.
"Shh-shh alright-alright" Ben said trying to calm her. He paused for a while taking her in . "Take care of yourself." Ben said his voice filled with hurt and sadness.
"You too." she replied crying.
Ben looked down and stared at their hands intertwined, it was killing him to let go but he knew he had too. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her cheek before kissing the palms of her hands and letting go. He met her eyes again and gazed into them. Then he backed away and turned around and walked to his car.
Miranda took a seat on the bench and put her face into her hands crying. Trying to pull herself together.
Ben thought that he would be at peace when he got home, but being home made it worst. He looked towards the couch and saw her purple faux fur throw blanket. He walked to his bedroom and saw her book on the nightstand and her black robe and hair scarf thrown across his chair in the corner.
