Thorns And Roses

Chapter Thirty-seven

Theo stared at himself in the mirror in his and Demi's bathroom. He ran his hand through his black shaggy hair and took note of the bruises under his eyes. He can't remember the last time he's gotten a full night's sleep since the mating ceremony. And that was almost a week ago.

Between the nightmares and the crippling guilt he felt, he's surprised he hasn't had a breakdown yet. Theo knew it was drawing close, he could feel it. He just didn't know when it would happen. The longer he stood there he started to feel dizzy. When was the last time he ate a proper meal? That was also something he couldn't remember.

Theo fell against the sink as his arms went out from under him. He went down moments later, panting to catch his breath. Theo groaned and leaned his head against the sink cabinets. A headache took up shop in the front of his head that would soon be a migraine.

"Fuck. Baby you okay?" Theo hadn't heard Demi come in and winced. This wasn't the first time Demi has seen him like this but he hoped it would have been the last.

Theo tried not to flinch at the hand that fell on his back in a soothing motion, rubbing small circles into his bare skin. Demi has been really gentle with him since the mating ceremony. It's not like Theo was complaining or anything. It was just strange how Demi seemed okay with Theo destroying himself.

"Let's get you up, sweetheart, and into bed. A nap wouldn't hurt." Theo offered no protest even if he knew the nap would be pointless. He wouldn't sleep. Demi helped Theo up off of the floor but was stopped before he could step out of the bathroom.

With a shocked gasp falling from Theo's lips, Demi was able to pick him up. It stunned Theo into silence as he instinctively wrapped his legs around Demi's waist and his arms looped around his neck. The embrace was comforting, settling that eight-year-old voice in his head. Like this was all that, that part of him wanted. To be held, to be loved.

Theo buried his face in Demi's throat, a safe place to hide his embarrassment at being carried. Demi deposited him on the bed and let him go. He then took Theo's face in his hands before planting a kiss on his lips.

"You're such a good boy, pup." Theo knew it was a lie but took the praise anyways. How could he be good if he ruined their mating ceremony? If the monsters that haunted Theo's past came tumbling in like a clumsy circus act. Sad clowns and popping loud balloons. There was no way Theo was good. Not in his head he wasn't.

"Okay let's lay you back and get comfortable." Theo crawled up the bed, got under the blanket, and waited for Demi to join him. When his mate didn't, Theo let out a whine.

"I know. I know baby. I just came up to check on you. I have to go back." Demi petted through Theo's gross hair and kissed his head. He really needed a shower. Isn't that why he went to the bathroom in the first place? He couldn't remember.

Ever since Theo went out of commission, meaning he wasn't sleeping or eating, Demi has been overseeing both businesses. Theo tried to reach for Demi as the Omega drew away but he wasn't fast enough to catch him in time. Theo whimpered as if in pain.

"Just try to get some sleep okay? I'll be up here in a little bit." And with that Demi was gone. Leaving Theo alone in the room that felt more like a prison every day. It's not like he couldn't leave, he could. It's just, Theo didn't want to.

So he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

~~~~

Theo felt irritation spike in his blood as he stood once again in the bathroom. It's been another week and that anger that was festering inside of him like an infection finally hit. He was sick of looking at himself. Sick of seeing the dark circles under his eyes, his scraggly hair, and his depleted body.

Without thinking, Theo lifted his clenched fist and drove it into the glass. Pieces got stuck in his hand but his brain didn't register the pain as the shards rained down like diamonds. They covered the sink and the floor in tiny slivers.

As Theo backed away from the damage, he paid no mind to the shards that cut and lodged in his bare feet. He walked back to the bedroom, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. He picked up a pillow off of the bed and ripped it in half. Feathers fluttered down and Theo reached for the other one.

By the time he was done, the room was a disaster. Feathers and debris are scattered about. Clothes were thrown on the floor, his and Demi's. The headboard was cracked right down the middle. And as he went to toss another dresser drawer across the room, where the others lay in shambles he heard Demi's voice call out;

"Kneel." It was said in such a calm and dominating tone that it automatically had Theo obeying. The piece of wood in his hands clattered to the floor and Theo fell beside it. Adrenaline buzzed in his veins as he practically vibrated where he sat on his knees.

The command grounded Theo and that's when he felt the pain from his wounds. His feet burned from the glass while his hands stung from overuse. Theo was facing away from Demi and the rage he felt slowly started to melt as his mate came to stand in front of him.

"I gave you time," Theo flinched once Demi was in front of him, his eyes pointed at the floor. His lips parted in a silent gasp when Demi gripped his hair and jerked his head up. Their eyes met. Theo could see that same fire burning in his eyes when he had thrown coffee at Jones. When he was trying to kill Joseph.

"I was patient with you. I knew that you were hurting and in pain so I left you alone to gather yourself. Even if it killed me to see you that way, I allowed it because I thought it would help you. But I was wrong." Demi let his hair go but Theo didn't take his eyes off him.

"I know now that I shouldn't have let you fall so far. I should have caught you and I'm sorry I didn't. That still doesn't mean that you can hurt yourself like this Theo. It's not right. The one that deserves all of your anger and pain is the man that brought you to this point." Theo knew Demi was right, he just couldn't do it.

"I'm sorry, Demi." He didn't know what he was apologizing for. Either the fact that he destroyed their room or the fact that he can't kill Joseph.

"I know you are and I am too. I should have been there for you but when you just kept pushing me away I thought you needed space. I shouldn't have left you alone. Fuck I really shouldn't have done that. You needed me."

Yes, Theo did need him, but his businesses also needed someone too. So when Theo started spiraling out of control he pushed Demi to take care of it for him, because he's the one that Theo trusts the most.

"Well I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. Quinn can take over until you're better. You'll go back to therapy, eat more and get the sleep you need. And I won't leave you." Demi helped Theo up off of his knees and the dragon hissed in pain. He kind of expected it that time around when Demi picked him up and carried him to the bathroom.

Demi put him down on the closed toilet lid and rummaged around to look for their first aid kit. That guilt and all the bad shit he was feeling before the rush of anger hit him came back in full force.

"I'm so sorry, Demi." It was said with a chocked sob as he just felt like breaking down. Theo knew it was coming, and it was now. Demi had him wrapped up in his arms in seconds, soothing him and trying to calm him down.

"It's okay baby. It's okay. It's my fault for leaving you by yourself for so long." Theo didn't bother commenting and just hugged Demi closer. He offered what comfort he could to his Omega.