Soundtrack to My Nightmares

the boy i wish to love

i met a boy who was quiet
he's not one to speak against a crowd
i watched him from afar
entranced by his mystery
but i didn't yet know what i was missing.

i knew a boy who swept me off my feet
i fell for his charming smile
and his dark eyes, full of allure
i let fate's hands take the wheel
and eventually he was mine.

i took this boy to a park
and we talked for hours
letting the time slip away
we were hesitant back then
but yet still i was late for my curfew
just so i could hear his laugh
for a little while longer.

i kissed a boy in his driveway
i was scared for our lips to touch
afraid he would evaporate
right before my eyes
but he didn't
because he was real.

i hurt that boy
i gave him up
he was there, yet i couldn't believe it.
i wish i loved him
like i know i could
if i had never loved someone else,
if i had listened to my gut,
if i had trusted him.

i wish i loved that boy
because if i did
i would never let him go.