Soundtrack to My Nightmares

body count

if the number of men
that i have slept with
were to show themselves
as scars all over my skin
would you then
see my suffering
and recognize
that every man
i gave myself to
was simply a knife
that i willingly
allowed to break the skin
because
i needed to know
what was the big deal
what was so fun
about using people
and finally i realized
i never used anyone
i let them use me
instead