Soundtrack to My Nightmares

modern love is fucked

hey you look good
thanks so do you
we should hang out sometime
yeah that'd be cool
what you tryna do tho?

the truth is
i don't really know
i decide when i meet you
how worth it you are
and the nature of our relationship

but more often then not,
our decisions do not correlate
and i am left sacrificing
my needs for yours

i let you finish
then i put my clothes back on
and leave.

wondering if it should've happened
in the very first place
and i can tell you now
that it shouldn't have.

what i really hope
is that my sex is too good
that you'll fall in love with my body
the way i moan and scream
my charisma
and shy, soft-spoken act

the truth is
i am so loud
and anxious
and annoying

they wouldn't want me as i come
so i laugh at myself in my head
as i sit in the bathtub for an hour
preparing myself for the act
i will soon commit

i laugh and laugh
as i walk up the stairs,
my purse hanging from my shoulder
nervously texting him
i've arrived

but then it's over
and i'm left with a faint memory
and no proof
that we ever had
any connection at all.

i laugh
because it's so funny
how i settle for this
when i know
i deserve better.