Evenstar

29. Stars in the Sky

After she had washed the worries of the day away, Dae Eun sat outside at the balcony of her bedroom and looked at the stars. The sky was clear and there were many stars shining bright. Still, her evenstar was the brightest, and its light was steady and unblinking. She lay down on a reclining chair and was content to watch the stars as they moved slowly through the night. So much of her life was also moving, and parts of her were already in the orbit of her oppa's life. She wondered if she could maintain that orbit, or if she would eventually fall away into space.

Her phone rang at 10 PM, as he promised.

"Oppa," she answered, wondering how he was.

"Eun-ah, how are you?"

"I'm sorry, Oppa."

"For what?"

"The video. It was from the daughter of one of our farmers. She's in middle school and has a vlog."

"Oh, you already saw it."

"No, not really. But June called me about it and told me it was going viral. It's been taken down already. Nana went and talked to their family. They got scared when the views got so high and took it down on their own. We'll talk to everyone tomorrow."

"I'm sorry about this, Dae Eun."

"It's not your fault. I... we should have been more careful here."

"Where are you?"

"Outside my bedroom, looking at the stars. The sky is dark but very beautiful, very peaceful. I hope it always stays this way."

"Eun-ah..." His voice sounded heavy.

"It's okay, Oppa. Let's not worry about something that hasn't happened yet."

"Let me tell you about ARMY. Are you seated comfortably? This may take a while. Maybe you should go inside, it's getting cold out these days."

"It's okay, I'm comfortable. Go ahead, Oppa."

"Back in 2013 when we were starting out, and even before that, there were very few people interested in us. We had a small following and we called them ARMY. They cheered us on when there was no one else cheering. They defended us against haters. They liked our posts and chatted with us online. We received very few fanmail, but when we did it made us so happy. Those were years of much uncertainty and there were many times that we wanted to give up. I don't think we could have made it then if not for ARMY. We were working all the time, practicing all the time, and fighting all the time because we're all just so different and we had to stay stuck together in a small dorm. We were exhausted, not just physically but mentally. But because ARMY was with us, we kept on going. Until the unimaginable happened, we started winning awards. Year after year, we were dominating the charts and gathering all the awards that were out there. We started filling stadiums in our tours, and even after we were gone for more than ten years, we found that ARMY was still waiting for us."

Dae Eun listened carefully, knowing he really wanted to share this with her. And she needed to understand this bond that they had with their fandom.

"My family had a small farm in Daegu, and if I had not won in the audition, I would have stayed there and become a farmer - probably not much different from your farmer families. I was so rough in the edges when I came to Seoul, and many fans - and probably even the members - didn't like me. They found me weird, like an alien. I was really just trying to cope with everything. But the members and I, we eventually got used to each other. And even ARMY opened up to let me in."

"Oppa, you were talented from the beginning." Dae Eun thought that maybe he didn't realize that he already had what it took to succeed even though he was just that farmer boy from Daegu.

"What talent I had then was very raw and unrefined. It was the training that made me better at singing, at dancing, at everything. And living this life that ARMY gave us has opened many other possibilities for me."

"Oppa, it was your personality that made it happen. The training may have polished everything, but it wouldn't have been successful if there was nothing to polish." From the videos she had seen, Dae Eun knew that Taehyung was already a gem to begin with. He was made for this.

"Even so, if not for our ARMY I wouldn't have gotten as far as I've gone. I've said it before that I owe my life to them, that this lifetime or the next will not be enough to thank them for helping us succeed. You don't know how hard it is for ARMYs when it's voting season, or when we make a comeback and they stream our songs continuously. Most of them don't sleep. They vote and stream even when they're at school or at work, traveling in between or taking care of their families. They sneak us into every available time in their day. They spend their hard-earned money on us. They move together and organize themselves into groups to have a greater impact. Sometimes I feel they work harder than we do. They are a real army. I hope they stay with us for the rest of our lives. They're the stars in our galaxy and they light our path."

Suddenly Dae Eun felt a strange emotion rising up within her as her oppa talked about ARMY with so much love in his voice. She realized it was jealousy and tried to shake it off.

"You know, when I woke up at the hospital after our accident, my room was filled with flowers and plushies. I joked with my mom that it's what woke me up, because I'm allergic to pollen. The whole lobby of the rooms where Jimin and I stayed were lined with flowers, and even the hospital lobby was filled with them. The patients were so happy to see flowers everyday. And we had stacks and stacks of letters from ARMY. But there's a downside to this success, Dae Eun. There are ARMYs that don't respect our personal space. And there are people who have threatened us in the past. We have received death threats, some to the point that we have had to cancel concerts just to make sure that everyone will be safe. Nothing has come of it so far, but this is why we do our best to keep our personal lives out of the limelight - because some ARMYs will not hesitate to approach even our families, or anyone associated with us."

"Death threats, Oppa?" Dae Eun could feel the blood draining from her face at the thought of someone threatening to harm him.

"Sadly, yes. And not just that, but the hate is also constant. It doesn't go away. As much as there are people who like us, there are also people who hate us. And these people will take every opportunity to cause trouble even for those close to us. I didn't want to talk about this so soon. I had wanted to have a plan in place before we got to this point, but it seems to be out of my hands now."

"Oppa, like I said, there's nothing to worry about yet. And nothing can get to me here. We live in a fairly secure environment." She really wanted to assure him that everything would be okay.

"I really hope so. Just stay away from social media if you can. I'll monitor everything from here. And Dae Eun, promise that you'll tell me everything. Don't hide what you feel."

"I won't, Oppa. Promise. I wish you were here."

Taehyung sighed. "I do, too. You don't know how much. Now go inside, it's getting late."

"Okay, Oppa. Good night. Sleep well." They hung up but Dae Eun stayed outside and continued to watch the night sky. She uttered a silent prayer to the One above and asked her mom to keep them both safe. June said that this would be the greatest fight of her life, and she vowed to be ready.

*****

Taehyung held the phone in his hands and looked at the pictures he had taken with Dae Eun and his friends. They all looked so happy, still unaware of what was already taking place on the internet. He couldn't help but feel a sense of regret for that day when he first drove to Geumsan to meet Dae Eun. If he had not taken that road, if he had not dared to dream of having a family of his own, then she would not be entangled into this chaos now. He could feel a physical pain with the fear that was already settling in his heart. Major news networks had already picked up the video and confirmed from other sources that he did not have any sageuk projects lined up. Their narrative only ended with a statement that he was probably on a personal schedule and that the way he sang Park Hyo Shin's songs was worthy of admiration.

It should have ended there, but these things never did. Twitter was trending his name with the hashtag #whoiswithtaehyung. He looked at Jungkook's message again.

"Hyung, they know her name."