Evenstar

30. Space

For the next two months, Taehyung and Dae Eun didn't meet. Dae Eun had gone to Taehyung's bank alone to finalize his purchase of the Seoul apartment and she signed all the papers as his manager for leasing out the property. He called or messaged her everyday but he was back to his usual schedule. They had started shooting his next series, and with Bangtan practices and recording their new album as Bulletproof, his day would end too late for her and she was often asleep when he could call. He would just leave her a message and she would reply when she woke up and he was asleep.

JKL issued a public statement requesting fans to respect their artists' privacy, and genuine ARMYs shot down or blocked anyone who continued to ask or dig information about Kwan Dae Eun and Taehyung's personal schedules. The buzz finally died down as autumn ended.

Dae Eun's family had returned and her appa was aware of what was going on online. He asked Dae Eun to remain in Geumsan for the meantime and shared the situation with their farmers, asking them to help protect their family's privacy by refraining from taking pictures or videos of Dae Eun or her friends. He also asked them to be wary of people who may be soliciting information about Dae Eun. He had not met this boy yet, and he was already fuming at the thought of her daughter's privacy being violated because of him. He understood that it was not his fault though, but if it were up to him he would ask Dae Eun to just stop. There were other fish in the ocean. However, one look at his daughter when they arrived and he knew that it was too late. She was in love with this boy, and that had never happened to Dae Eun before.

Dae Eun busied herself with the farm, and she continued to monitor Taehyung's apartment and the orders from the cafe at Songpa-gu. So many orders were also coming from Taehyung's friends and their acquaintances and it was Sunhee and Baek-Hyeon who would deliver the orders and check on Taehyung's apartment that was already being rented. She missed Taehyung so much and hated missing his calls and messages when they came in. She planned to see him in December for Christmas and his birthday and hoped he would be free to spend some time with her.

Winter had arrived with the first snow and Dae Eun had been out on the farm when it happened. She caught the flakes in her hands and thought of her oppa who was shooting winter scenes outside. She hoped he was warm and wished she was with him instead. But she was needed at the farm especially at this time to oversee the protection of their crops from the cold. They had prepared early and the more sensitive crops were already covered with plastic blankets. She was also able to harvest strawberries which were the most requested fruit from their Seoul clients and would be delivering them soon. She had selected the largest and sweetest from their greenhouse for her oppa and she wished she could bring them to him herself, but she had to keep her distance for now in case there were people waiting for more news about her and Taehyung. She just had them delivered by Sunhee while they were still fresh. Sunhee also brought another flask of Kyubok's tonic and she hoped that her oppa was taking this religiously for his health especially during this busy season.

Dae Eun continued to monitor her oppa through youtube videos and she opened a twitter account to enter the ARMY community. She was surprised at how updated they all were, knowing her oppa's every project even before it was known by the general public. She finally registered in Weverse too under an alias and sent him short and cute messages which he most likely missed. She was awed at how much her oppa was loved by ARMY and how protective they were of him, and she grew afraid of ever being on the opposite side of this fandom. One evening, she was surprised to get a notification. Taehyung-oppa was live and she hurriedly opened the link.

He was saying that he was doing well and was tired as usual. Her heart caught in her throat and she wished she could reach beyond the screen and touch his face. The live ended too soon and she found herself crying at how short it was and how much she wanted to see him. Did he feel the same, she wondered. Was it hard for him too?

Dae Eun's days became filled with longing and pain. She found herself visiting their old home more often, lying on the couch where her oppa had fallen asleep. One day she went to Kyubok seonsaengnim and asked about her oppa's health and he just smiled at her concern. He told her not to worry, as long as he was taking care of himself and drinking the tonic he gave him her oppa should be alright. That was just it, Dae Eun thought, she didn't really know if he was taking care of himself.

Winter covered their whole farm in a white blanket and it looked like a magical silver white world. Dae Eun sent him pictures and he said he wanted to be there and take pictures with her too. And then one day he didn't call or send a message. And the one day became two, and three, and four. Dae Eun called and there was no answer. She messaged and there was no reply. She wondered if she had fallen out of orbit, if she had lost their connection because of the distance that now stood between them.

"He's gone, June." She texted her friend.

"He's busy. He's got a lot of things going on, Eun-ah."

"Still, this has never happened before. Not since I met him. And the sad thing is I have no one to ask, no one to call who may be able to tell me how he's doing."

"I feel you."

"I'm just his friend. I'm not even his girlfriend. I shouldn't be feeling this way, right?"

"No best friend, don't think like that. Just trust him. If he could, he would have called by now."

"Then if he couldn't what does that mean? Is something wrong? Did something happen?"

"Nothing's on the news, beshie. Relax, you're stressing me out."

"Then why?"

"I wish I knew, besh."

As the days wore on, Dae Eun settled in her heart that she would do just that. She would trust him. And she let her fears and worries go. She would wait, she would hope, and she would trust.

And his call finally came.

"Eun-ah..." His voice sounded strange and weak. "I'm sorry."

"Oppa! Are you okay?" It wasn't the usual video call and she couldn't see how he was doing.

"No." He sounded sick. "I wish you were here."

Dae Eun felt her heart pounding. "Oppa, where are you?"

"I just wish you were here."

His voice broke her heart.