Evenstar

40. Send-Off

Two days before their departure for Busan, Taehyung came to Dae Eun's shop after closing time. Things had gone back to normal and they only had lines at noon - probably office workers during lunch break. They ordered takeout of gimbap, omu rice, and sandwiches, and tried to catch the strawberries and strawberry jam which were always sold out. Dae Eun would ration supply everyday so that customers would always have something to purchase if they came early.

"I can't grow enough strawberries for this demand." Dae Eun had to admit that the shop was forcing them to change their strategy at the farm. They needed to expand and she would be working on that next.

"Have you hired a manager?" Taehyung could see his girlfriend's furrowed brow, something that wasn't there before the shop opened.

"Appa is still looking." Their workers in Geumsan were reluctant to work in Seoul, afraid of the different culture. Only the younger ones were excited at the opportunity. Dae Eun looked longingly at her oppa. She wanted to be alone with him, to hug him and kiss him, but there were staff cleaning up at the shop and more staff at their rooftop unit preparing for tomorrow.

Taehyung closed his eyes and shook his head. He could read Dae Eun very well now, even when she wasn't saying anything. He wanted to be with her too since this would be the last night they could be together before September. He just hoped he could hold back.

"Are there any strawberries left?" He had finished the batch his mom bought in one sitting.

Dae Eun stood up and got tomorrow's supply from the ref. "They'll just have to be content with the jam."

Taehyung took the strawberries in one hand and Dae Eun's hand with the other, and he led her out of the building to his SUV. They drove silently to his apartment, and when they got there Dae Eun found that it was empty.

"Where are your parents?"

"At my sister's. They'll be back tomorrow. They'll come to the concert with me."

"I should go with you, too..." Dae Eun wasn't able to finish. Taehyung had turned her back to the wall and kissed her along the hallway, the strawberries still in his hand. She held his face with both hands and they kept going until she felt her legs grow weak. He sensed it and stopped.

"I missed you," he whispered in her ear.

"Nado. Oppa, you don't know how much."

"I do." It was like a physical pain for him.

He looked into her eyes, and from such a close distance Dae Eun felt she was melting. Taehyung was handsome any day, whether he just woke up or was dressed for an interview or a performance. But like this, up close, his eyes vulnerable, it was hard to look at him and breathe. She rested her hand to her chest to still her heartbeat.

Taehyung took her hand and led her to the kitchen. "I'll make us dinner."

"Really?" Dae Eun smiled and happily watched him heat water in a saucepan and open a package of ramyeon. He took out an egg from the ref and chopped some vegetables, and he placed cooked chicken breast in the pan with the rest of the ingredients once the water boiled. When it was done, he filled two bowls with the noodles and broth and placed strips of seaweed on top.

"Enjoy." He said as he placed one bowl before her and small servings of side dishes beside it. He washed the strawberries too and placed them in a bowl, for dessert. "Is it good?" he asked as Dae Eun tasted the broth.

"Very! This is perfect, gourmet chef."

They laughed and ate the ramyeon. Taehyung opened a bottle of wine and a package of chocolates to go with the strawberries. Then he looked at his girl. He wanted to preserve the memory of her face and her laughter in his mind to comfort him for the next five months. He couldn't imagine being away from her for so long, but they both had things to do and finish before their life together could start.

They washed the dishes after and cleaned the kitchen island, sprinkling water on each other all the while. They chased each other across the living room until he caught her by the waist and they both fell on the couch. Taehyung thought they were still laughing until he felt moisture seep to his chest where Dae Eun's head lay.

"Eun-ah..." He tried to lift her head but she wouldn't look at him. She was crying into his chest, her hand clutching his arm, and he just held her. "Dae Eun, I need you to take care of yourself, okay? Eat well and don't work too hard. Always be aware of your surroundings. Don't go out alone, take someone with you. I'll call you everyday. I'll give you my parents' numbers, Do-Hyun's and Se-jun's too. You can call them anytime." He felt her body shaking, and he sat up and raised her head. She was crying openly, her face flushed red, her long hair framing her body.

"You look funny when you cry," he said and she hit his chest lightly. He held her again to him and began singing to her.

"Oppa..."

"It's just five months. We'll make it." He took out his handkerchief and dabbed the tears from her eyes. Then he kissed her again, deeply this time, tasting wine and strawberries in her mouth. His hands stroked her back, trying to stop her crying. He felt her hands at his back too, rising to cradle his head as he moved to lean on a pillow and lie straight on the couch with her on top of him. He could feel her whole body pressed against his. He wanted her so badly but he promised himself he would do this right. He stopped and they lay still, her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat, her hair covering him like a sheet.

"I need you to take care of yourself, too. I want you safe and healthy when I see you in Paris, Oppa." The last time they were apart she was appalled at how he had overworked himself to the point that his weight dropped drastically. It scared her, and she found herself resenting what his work did to him. She knew it wasn't her place to feel that way but she couldn't help it. And the thought that she wouldn't be able to reach him if ever he needed her gave her nightmares. She shuddered, and she felt his arms tighten around her. In a moment he raised her to him and kissed her again, and she felt her body hot and feverish at his touch. She was afraid she would faint from his kisses alone and was thankful that he always stopped.

They lay together quietly, with Taehyung stroking her hair and back all the while. He would bring her home to their shop building by 10 PM, his usual curfew for Dae Eun, and their last night together would end. He noticed that she was still wearing his trinity band, just as he was, despite many ARMYs wearing the same. He held her wrist and stroked it gently, feeling her pulse against his fingers. He could feel the pain of being apart from her slowly creeping into his heart.

"I love you, Dae Eun. I want to hold you like this when we meet again."

Dae Eun raised her head and looked at her oppa. She saw tears slowly building up in his eyes and she caught them with her lips before they fell. She kissed him achingly as she fought her own tears, and she felt him press her body to his further as though he wanted them to be one. She wondered again how she would survive without him, and she realized with sadness that he was feeling the same.