Evenstar

43. Hate

(The artwork above is by Anne Marie Zilberman, Golden Tears)

Dae Eun sat on her bed in Geumsan. It was already dark outside but she couldn't sleep. She had not been able to sleep well since that day in May when she had seen ARMY in Chiyue Nara - rather, when she had been seen by ARMY. She had left the shop by the front door, pretending to be a customer, and she had not returned since. She made up an excuse to her appa and the staff managed the shop until the new manager eventually took over by the end of May.

The days that followed were the beginnings of her now constant nightmare. Their chance meeting had fuelled the fire and ARMY confirmed that Kwan Dae Eun was a poor-little-rich Taehyung stan who couldn't get a date, who had to have her relatives set her up with their friends because nobody liked her, and it was most likely true that her family pressured Taehyung to go to Geumsan for her birthday. She was called all sorts of names and cursed in Twitter. Dae Eun was only thankful that there were no hashtags attached to the posts, or her oppa might pick it up.

Taehyung and the members were on their way to New York City for their final concerts in the US. Then they would head to Canada and Europe and it would just be a month before Dae Eun would be meeting him in Paris. She would try her best to steel herself from the daily onslaught until then, focusing her energy instead on expanding production in the farm to meet the shop's demands and on preparing for their trip to Paris. She made all the needed coordination with the UN and got the documents needed for their visa. Cheul-Soo and his family were coming, and so was Kyubok Seonsaengnim and his nephew. They were to demonstrate natural healing practices during the summit and Harabeoji was both nervous and excited. It was to be his first time away from South Korea, indeed even from Geumsan.

All would have been well if not for the ARMY at the shop who had picked up her phone number when Jo Iseul mentioned it. Dae Eun received hate messages all day. Some even dared to call her and she learned never to answer calls from unknown numbers. She couldn't change her number because it would alert her family that there was something wrong, and Taehyung would ask her why. She didn't want him to think there was something amiss, not until the tour was over and he was safely back home.

Taehyung called her everyday and she got better at lying when he asked how she was. She really wanted to fall apart and she only had June to lean onto. June wanted to set ARMY straight, but Dae Eun didn't want to add more fuel to the fire. They agreed to kill the chaos with silence, hoping that the haters would eventually get tired and move on. It had been over two months already.

Her phone rang suddenly and Dae Eun jumped. She couldn't even put her phone on silent because she might miss a call from her oppa and her family. She looked at the screen and it was Taehyung, and she tried to compose herself before she answered.

"Oppa."

"Eun-ah, we've landed in New York."

"That's good, are you heading to your hotel?"

"Yes, I hope I can catch at least four hours of sleep. How are you?"

"I'm okay, Oppa. We got our visas today."

"That's great! I can't wait to see you in Paris. I can't wait for this tour to be over! I miss you, Gongjunim!"

"Oh Oppa, I miss you too." She could feel her tears falling and she couldn't hide it in her voice.

"Just a few more weeks, Dae Eun. Let's both hang in there."

"Yes, Oppa." She was struggling to keep herself from sobbing. She wanted to tell him and hear him say that everything would be alright.

"We're boarding the vehicles now, Dae Eun. I'll call you tomorrow."

They exchanged 'I love you's' and hung up and Dae Eun felt the emptiness of her room. It was so dark outside her window, she couldn't see any stars. She was about to put her phone on silent when it rang again. It was an unknown number and she blocked it. A series of text messages soon followed.

Die, bitch!!!

You should be ashamed of yourself! How dare you make Taehyung go to your birthday! He doesn't deserve to have fans like you! Go bury yourself in your farm!

Buy yourself a boyfriend with your appa's money, cunt! Taehyung is not for sale!

I'd love to splatter your brain on the ground. Let me know when you're in Seoul.

I'm watching you. I know every move you're making, what you do, where you go.

Just kill yourself! Save me the trouble of doing it for you, bitch!

Die! Die! Die!!!!!!

Dae Eun read the messages and felt her insides shaking. She needed someone to hold her, to steady her, but there was no one there.