The Challenge: Ride or Dies

Episode 4

A lot just happened, but the summary of the situation is that Ryan and Liv were betrayed by Analyse and Tommy, Ryan sent home a former friend of his, Liv proved why she is a badass, Ryan and I revealed that we are siblings, and Darrell and Veronica just entered the game. I am hoping they are the last pair to enter the game and am curious as to how they are going to adapt to the game. Even though they are vets, we have already drawn lines in the sand and they are on the outs. I see Ryan talking with Laurel and I can tell she is trying to distance herself from him.

After seeing this, I realize that Laurel just used Ryan since she knew he was my brother and had something over both of us. Now that I see what she has done, any friendship and allegiance I had towards her and Jakk is done. My biggest fear with bringing Ryan or Xavier into my world has been that people will use them and this just happened. When I go to check on Ryan, I am called into the confessional room by Justin and I know he wants me to talk about this. I am afraid as to what I will say about it.

Justin: So, how are you doing?

Syn: That is the best question you could come up with?

Justin: Look, just because you're mad...

Syn: Mad? Mad!?!? I'm beyond mad! I'm furious!

Justin: Syn, settle down.

Syn: Why? So I can be the "nice guy" everyone wants me to be? No. Look where it fucking got me.

Justin: Brett, don't make me...

Syn: Don't make you what?!?! Call security? That's how this is going to go? I can't even be mad because my biggest fear came to life? I could have been the reason twice now that my brother was sent home and betrayed? I have done everything in my fucking power to keep him safe and make everyone happy and look what happened.

Justin: He's his own person. You don't have to protect him all the time.

Syn: Justin, do you have siblings?

Justin: No.

Syn: Then you will never understand the pain and shame I feel right now. I have never felt more of a failure than I do right now.

Justin: You're right. I don't understand the pain. What I do understand is that you are wrong. You are not a failure Syn. Look at everything you have done in your life. Look at what you've done for your family, friends, and yourself. You should be so proud of yourself. You have a husband and children who adore you. You have friends that will literally fly anywhere to make sure you are okay. You have a mom and brother who love you. You have your younger brother here who thinks the world of you.

Syn: He does?

Justin: Syn, he was so worried you would be mad that he was on here without you. Ask him yourself when you get the chance. In the meantime, go welcome your new competitors.

Syn: Thanks Justin.

Justin: Of course.

I hug him and then I enter the house wanting to figure out how to move forward with Darrell, Veronica, and Laurel. I don't know if I can trust them and want them gone as soon as I can. I see that Liv and Ryan are fuming and they have every right to be mad. I like seeing the fire in them and I hope they use this to their advantage. The one thing I want to make clear with them is that by Analyse and Tommy doing this, this gives them the perfect opportunity to work with my side of the house without it being suspicious.

I go talk with Nurys for a while and find out the girl is smarter than people realize. She knows how the vets are trying to run the game and I know what the rookies, Amber, Jay, and Michele are doing. We bond over our love for our idiot of a friend, Nelly T. She brings up how the power players in the game are Kaycee, Nelly, Faysal, Nany, and myself. I assure her that I will never come after her and Nelly and she says the same for Tori and I. She asks if we can make a day-to-day deal to ensure whatever pair does win protects the other pair. I agree because I know better than to turn down a deal.