Somewhere Between the Depths

Chapter Six

Silas

A text comes through just as I get back to the house.

Cash: Had to leave. Sent over two prospects to finish up, see you tonight.

Fucker. I round the bend and see Raith and Wells climbing down from the roof. They jog up to the truck and start unloading before I can even hop out. I send a middle finger emoji to Cash and join them, feeling light as a feather after my run in with Nora. I don't know why touching her set off her panic attack though. I wanted to ask, but didn't want to pry, especially since it was my fault. I used to get them all the time after my parents died. The smallest things could trigger them, and I'd be swept up in it, losing my shit until someone either found me or it passed. I want her to feel like she can talk to me about it, but I know it can be embarrassing so I won't push it.

I'm losing the battle of keeping the smile off my face, especially knowing I'll be seeing her again in a few short hours. If I crack a grin, the guys will give me shit for the rest of the day. At this point, I doubt I'd really care. I'm just ready to see her. She can play hard to get all she wants, but I'm invested now, and call me crazy, but I think she might be too.

"Si!"

I grip the last bag of soil, letting out a harsh breath. Fuck. Just one day. Can't I just have one fucking day?

"What's up, Matteo." Raith calls out, adjusting the backwards cap on his head.

"Talk a walk. VP and I got business." Matteo snaps at the prospects, he's still in the sling but his color has come back, and he looks like his usual self again. 

They nod, walking away without another word, leaving me to fend for myself.

"Silas..."

"I don't have time for this Matty. I've got shit to do."

I drop the last bag of soil to the ground, slamming the tailgate as I round the truck for the wheelbarrow. Matteo stays silent until I'm behind the truck again.

"So, what? That's it then? I get shot and I'm not worth five minutes of your fucking time anymore?"

My chest tightens at his accusation, and I refuse to look at him, unsure of how to explain myself. It has nothing to do with him, or maybe everything to do with him, but it's mostly about me.

"No, it's fine. I get it, VP. You're busy climbing the fucking ranks to be Pres. Can't have a damaged VP sitting next to you." He growls.

"That's not fucking true, Matt!" I yell, throwing the wheelbarrow on its side.

"Then what exactly is your goddamn problem with me?" Matteo charges forward, shoving me backwards with his good arm.

I hang my head, the lump in my throat growing bigger by the second. It takes real effort to swallow it down, to speak my thoughts out loud to him.

"I thought you were going to die on me, man. They brought you in and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't help you, I couldn't..." I swallow again, my hands shaking as I ball them into fists, "I couldn't fucking save you. All I could do was wait, wait and hope to God that you lived, and it was all my fault." The words come out in a ragged whisper.

They suspend in the air between us, the back of my eyes stinging as my vision blurs. I finally force myself to look up, to look at my best-friend.

"I should've been at that exchange. I was supposed to be there, to have your back and I wasn't."

Matty shakes his head, "It was the seventh, Si..."

"Yeah," I let out a humorless chuckle, "While I was out talking to fucking ghosts, I lost two men and almost lost you. Real good use of my time."