Making It!

Chapter 10

3 months, I've only been living here in London for 3 months. Feels more like 3 years.

I've been working, I've been writing and I've been falling in love with Louis. Yep, I love him. Having these feelings absolutely petrifies me though because I don't think I've ever been in love before. Actually that's not true, it's not I think it's a I know I haven't. Don't get me wrong I've had a few boyfriends and girlfriends in my time but I've never actually loved any.

There were a few girlfriends through my early teens but I was never excited or really interested when they wanted to kiss me, flirt or hold hands, I just never had the sexual attraction. That's when I met Aiden. He came into the Bakery one Saturday the summer after my 15th birthday. He was on holiday at his grandparents. I found him so beautiful and we got along so well, I was instantly attracted to him in a way that I wasn't to girls. Aiden had asked for my number after his 2nd visit to the bakery. I actually got Barabara to give him it when he came in next because I was my usual shy, awkward Harry and couldn't do it. He was my 1st kiss with a boy. I was a nervous wreck and had butterflies in my stomach, I had no idea that this was the way it should have felt when you kissed someone.That's when I knew i was gay. I came out to my mum just before my 16th birthday.

I do plan on telling Louis how I feel about him, I just need to find the right time and also I hope he feels the same. What do I do if he doesn't? I don't think I could just be his friend!

Tonight's shift was a slow one and for some strange reason I have not been able to shake this strange ache deep down in my chest, no idea whats caused it though, I guess I'm just having an off day. I was pretty glad when the end of my shift came around, something just wasn't right.

We just closed up the bar for the night and Zayn and Niall go there own way, when my phone rings from inside my jacket pocket. Louis sometimes calls me on my walk home, so I'm smiling as I pull out my phone but it's not the name I expect to see, it's an unknown number.

"Hello" I answer curiously. "Is this Harry Styles?" "Yes, speaking. Who's this?" that strange ache in my chest is escalating more now, "This is Congleton War Memorial Hospital, I'm calling about a patient that's just been admitted. A Mrs Anne Twist" My footsteps halt at hearing mums name and I'm frozen in fear. I'm shaking, my hearts pounding so rapidly I feel like it's going to burst right out my chest as I stutter out "that....that's my mum" I gasp for air, I can't breathe. "Your mum was involved in a car accident early tonight. We tried to contact Miss Gemma Styles before yourself but there was no answer on that line" the nurse tells me. "Is she okay?" what happened?" I force the words out my mouth, I feel like I'm going to be sick. "I don't know too much more, but she's currently in surgery Mr Styles." Fuck, I have to get to mum now! "I'm in London but will be on the road asap" I tell the nurse and hang up.

Gem, I need to get a hold of Gem now! I'm panicking now, C'mon Harry make your body move i internally scream, I take in a few gulps of air and force my legs to start moving and I take off sprinting towards my flat.

I burst into the flat not really caring if I wake Ben, mum needs by her side now.

I'm dialling and re-dailling Gemma's number whilst throwing whatever clothes I can get my hands on in a bag just as Ben stumbles sleepily out of his room. "What the fuck Harry?" he's watching me run around the room furiously, waiting for an explanation. "Mum was in a car crash, she's in hospital" I scream at him, tears in my eyes and panic showing from head to toe. His eyes go wide at hearing my answer and rushes over to help me finish packing. Ben's grabs what i need from the bathroom as I continue dialling Gem, where the fuck is she?? I have no space in my brain to be worrying about Gem aswell as mum right now! I throw my journal in on top of my clothes and pull the zip shut quickly. Ben's is waiting for me at the door as I make my way through the flat, he's thrown on his trainers to walk me down to my car. " Drive safe please H" I know I probably shouldn't be driving in my anxious panicked state, but there's no way I'm waiting. I think Ben knows this so that is why he doesn't even suggest it.

I hug him quickly "keep trying Gem for me please" I say as I climb in the car and start the engine. I quickly try Gem one last time before I start my drive. I have no choice but to leave a voicemail, I can't be on my phone until I get back to Holmes Chapel and that's over 3 hours away. I let out a gigantic sigh, try to regulate my breathing, then say "Hey Gem, call me back when you get this please, it's important...." I pause thinking about if I should say it, before I add on "Its mum" I hang up as a few tears drop from my eyes. I rub my face and eyes viciously before, nope I won't cry, not now anyway. I start the car and pull out onto the main road.

I've got 3 and a half hours of torture ahead of me, 210 minutes of not knowing what happening and 12600 seconds of praying mum's going to be okay.