Making It!

Chapter 11

I glance at the clock as I pull my car to a stop in the hospital car park, it's almost 4am.

I scoop my phone up from the passenger seat the minute I turn the engine off. I'm hoping that Gem has called, but all I see is a text from Ben.

B- Still no luck with Gemma, I will keep trying though. Let me know how things go when you have sec. Love you cuz x

I will reply later, I have to see mum.

I stop at the front entrance of our local hospital and look up at the building, somewhere in here mum is alone and hurting. That thought has plagued me the whole drive up here, the panic and fear crushing my chest making me feel sick. I pull my phone out of my pocket and pull up Gems messages.

G- I need you x

That's all I can type. I don't know what else I can say.

I pocket my phone, take in a massive shaky deep breath and walk through the main doors.

After what felt like an eternity at the main desk, I'm finally being directed up to the ICU. I really hoped mum had just suffered a few bumps and bruises but as I step in the lift and bang the button for level 2 and ICU, I'm physically trembling. This is serious....what if, oh god, what if she dies?? NO, I won't think like that, I can't think like that!

I exit the lift and press the intercom outside the ICU.

I close my eyes as I wait "Robin, can you hear me? I need mum to be okay, please send her back to me if she's up there with you" I whisper. The words "Can I help you?" breaks me from my prayer to Robin. I cough to try and clear the lump in my throat "Erm...yeah. I'm here to see my mother Anne Twist. I'm her son, Harry" After a second the door buzzes open.

I'm met by a middle aged nurse with kind eyes, "Hi Harry I'm Meg and I've been looking after your mum up here tonight" I nod and walk along the dark lit corridor with her. I can hear beeping and whooshing sounds from machines coming from every direction, my insides tighten with panic, I have no idea what I'm going to see when I walk into mum's room.

"Can I see my mum please?" I quietly ask. "The doctor would like to speak to you first. Please take a seat here and I will let the doctor know you've arrived" She gestures to a small cluster of seats in the waiting area. More waiting I tell myself as I plonk down heavily in a seat.

I rest my head against the wall and wait. I only wait for a few minutes but time feels like it's slowed and it's been hours. "Mr Styles" I jerk my head to the left and see Meg and a doctor. I shoot up from my seat immediately. "It's just Harry. Is my mum okay?" I stutter out, it feels like there's a pair of invisible hands choking me right now, the pressure round my chest and neck crushing.

"Your mum had to have surgery earlier tonight to repair a severe break in her right leg. She also received treatment for a punctured lung, 4 broken ribs and there's some significant swelling to her brain that we are monitoring very closely. There's also some lacerations and bruising on her face and body from where the windshield shattered. We have kept your mum sedated and comfortable since her surgery, that way her body can rest and start to heal." I'm rooted to the spot, my head buzzing trying to take in all this information about mum's condition. "Will she get better?" I query with a shaky emotional voice. "We can only take things day by day at the moment Harry" I'm told by the doctor. My eyes finally spill over with tears "Can I...I mean am I allowed to see her?" I say through a sob. "Of course, I can take you to her now" Meg says, pointing down the corridor. "I will speak to you again in a few hours Harry when we have some more test results" I say nothing, just offer a small nod and then I turn away and head down the hall after Meg.

We stop outside room 7. "Whenever you're ready" Meg says softly from beside me. I take a second to try and gather my thoughts and control my tears, mum needs me to be strong for her right now.

I push open the door and round the curtain pulled over, I almost crumble to the floor when I see her, but luckily for me Meg's arm comes around my waist taking my weight and supporting me.

My eyes fly over every inch of my mum. There's wires in her arms and chest, her head bandaged, leg in a full cast and resting on pillows, bruises and cuts scattered over every single bit of skin I can see and there's a tube down her throat helping her breathe. I wobble over to the side of the bed on very unstable legs and take a seat in the chair placed beside the bed.

"You can hold her hand if you like Harry" Meg gently encourages me. I slip my hand in hers and hold it so delicately, afraid I will hurt her. " I will leave you now, but I'm just at the desk if you need anything Harry" Meg adds as she heads out the door, closing it over silently.

The sun is now slowly starting to rise and I watch as the rays creep across the floor and walls of the hospital room. I slide forward on the seat to get closer to mum, I rub my thumb gently over the back of her hand "come back to me" I mumble as I lay a feather light kiss on her hand. I drop my forehead onto our joined hands and close my eyes.

Vibration from my pockets shocks me awake, I must have dozed off. I wrestle my phone out my pocket and peer at the screen....Gemma, fucking finally!

"Gem, where the fuck have you been?" I all but shout down the phone at her. "My phone died when I was out last night H, I've literally just switched it back on and got your voicemail. What's up with mum?" she's worried I can hear her voice shaking. "Gem, it's bad" I'm holding back my own tears again.

I can hear her hurrying around her flat in the background, she's clearing grabbing stuff like I did just a few hours before. "How bad H?" she's crying now. "She was in a car crash Gem, needed surgery, sedated now....and" I have to pause to push down that sick feeling again. "I'm on my way H. I'll be with you soon, okay?" I let out a whispered sob along with a small almost silent "okay"

All I can do now is wait. Wait for Gem and wait for mum.