Making It!

Chapter 14

8 hours I've been at mum's bedside now, in that time we have had 3 further visits from the doctor. Every time he appears I get my hopes up for positive news but sadly so far nothing has changed, but I have managed to fight off any more panic attacks, so I suppose that's something.

Gem and I are sitting on either side of mum's bed holding one hand each, praying for some sort of sign that she's still with us. This is all we can do, sit, wait and hope. It just doesn't seem like enough in my eyes, I'd switch places with her in an instant.

My thoughts are broken by a beep from my phone, it's Niall. Shit I forgot about work.

N- All okay H? Not like you to not turn up for your shift? X

H- So sorry Ni, I'm back in Holmes Chapel. My mum was in a car accident last night. It's bad mate. X

Almost instantly there's a reply.

N- Shit man, I'm sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you need, okay? You know where I am if you need absolutely anything. X

H- Thank you, I appreciate that. x

It dawns on me then that I have no idea when I will be back in London, back at work and back with Louis. I need to speak to my Louis, I need to hear his voice.

"Gem, I'm gonna get some fresh air and call Louis, haven't had a chance to speak to him yet" I say standing and stretching my arms above my head, shaking my achy muscles into motion.

"Will you bring back some coffee please bro?"

I remember that awful coffee I was served earlier this morning from Meg, no way am I or Gem drinking that shit again.

"I will nip away and grab some, the cup I was served earlier was like tar Gem" a small amused smile appears as she nods, I walk past her squeezing her shoulder. I turn at the door, looking back at mum, "let me know if anything changes while i'm away Gem" I say. "You don't need to say that H, you know I would"

I walk out the main entrance of the hospital and I sigh deeply. I breathe deeply, air fresh filling my lungs, not like the sterile smell that's been invading my nostrils for hours.

I take a minute to collect my thoughts and control my deep breathing then I dial Louis number.

Pick up please Lou, pick up, I murmur to myself as it rings out. I hang up and try again, still no answer. The 3rd time it rings I let the call connect to voicemail.

"Hey Lou, it's me. I....I'm just calling to let you know I'm in Holmes Chapel. Mum was in a car crash last night, she's in a pretty bad way" I manage to stutter out before a sob escapes me, I cover my eyes, I don't want people seeing me cry. "I just wanted to hear your voice babe, I need..." I pause for a second pushing back more sobs that are threatening to break free. I can't say that I need him, I just can't seem to form the words. "Never mind, I will speak soon, bye" I hang up.

I try not to dwell too long on the fact that I didn't get to speak to Louis, I'm just missing him, his voice, his hands, his kiss.

I will try again later, I say to myself as I pocket my phone and head for my car. Right, time for some decent coffee!

When I'm buzzed through the doors of ICU with 2 coffees and a couple of muffins, Gem is sitting in the waiting area. "Everything okay?" I say speedily walking over to her. God, I hope mum's okay? "Yeah, they're just preparing to take her for another scan, they want to see if the swelling is subsiding?" I drop into the seat beside her, passing her a coffee. "Did they say how long?" I say taking a bite of my muffin. "They said 45 minutes or so" Gem says while sipping her coffee. I'm not hungry at all but I know I need to eat so I just sit silently forcing down a few bites of muffin.