Making It!

Chapter 15

"Louis stop.....please wait" I shout, I need to catch up to him. The lift doors are closing on Louis as I burst through the ICU doors. "Stop" I'm banging the lift button willing the doors to open back up.

I fly down 2 sets of stairs as soon as I see the lift numbers declining.

I'm frantically looking left and right when I make it to the ground floor, where is he? That's when I catch a glimpse of the back of him walking out the main entrance and I'm off after him, "Louis stop" I reach out and take hold of his arm to spin him around to face me, he yanks his arm out of my grip aggressively. "Don't worry Harry, you don't need to explain anything to me, I get it. I saw what was going on up there" I stumble back feeling like I've been winded by his words.

"What? That was nothing. Nick found out about mum from Gem. He just wanted to make sure I was okay" I stumble over my words as they fall quickly out my mouth. "Ahh, so that's Nick?! He was doing more than asking if you were okay" he says sharply. I can't have Louis thinking there's anything going on between us, "I'm not interested in Nick, I told you that before Lou. It's you, I want you" We stand gazing at each other in silence. I want to reach out and hold him, I want to take him back to be with me at mum's bedside. "I wish I could believe you, Harry" he says, taking another step away from me, from us.

I've noticed he hasn't called me H once, that realisation hurts my heart so much. I'm getting desperate, he's going to leave. "You can....I,I'm in love with you Lou" tears are starting to fill my eyes. I was hoping to see love in Louis' eyes when we connected green to blue, but all I see is anger "Don't let your boyfriend here you say that to me Harry" he spits out and with that last comment he strolls off, he doesn't look back. I'm left standing alone, watching my whole heart walk away from me.

Nick's still waiting when I get back upstairs, you have to be fucking kidding me. "Why are you still here? I'm seething. "H...I" he starts, I cut him off. "Don't call me that, it's Harry. I don't need your worry, actually I don't need anything you have to offer Nick."

"Harry please, you know how i feel about you" Nick needs to get a fucking grip, I'm done being polite. "Back off Nick. There never has been anything between us and never will be, I don't know how many times I've told you." I continue before he has a chance to say anything. "That man that just left, he has my heart, my whole heart and now he's walked away because of you." I'm pointing aggressively towards the door. " I'd never walk away over a silly misunderstanding, just saying" he says, taking a dig at Louis' recent reaction. He then has the audacity to lift a hand and try to stroke my cheek. I smack it away, "Don't fucking touch me. You keep your distance from now on you hear me Nick" I don't wait for him to answer, I barge past him straight into mums room.

The minute the door of mum's room is closed I erupt in tears and slide down the door to the floor.

Gem is kneeling in front of me in an instant. "Fuck H, what's happened?" I can't form any words, my heart is gone, so I just let the tears flow. They flow for mum and they flow for Louis. "He, he.... didn't believe me?" I sob out. Gems pulling me into a hug now. "Who? Nick? Believe what?" Gem's confused. "Louis" I mumble into her neck. "Is he here?" she says shocked. "W..was'' she pulls back and looks at me "what happened?"

It takes a few minutes for me to stop crying and regulate my breathing before I fill her in about what just happened with Nick and Louis.

We're still sitting on the floor when Gem says "what a dick" I mumble out "which one?" That draws a little chuckle out of both of us. "Both! I'm kidding, just Nick. You can most definitely sort things with Louis. I'm sure of it" Gem rubs her hands up and down my arms comforting me. Gem seems confident, I'm not so sure.

Gem drags me up off the floor and places me beside mum's bed. How I wish I could have a hug from my mum right now. "You stay with mum H, I will go make sure that dick is gone and then grab us some food" Gem ruffles my curls, turns to mum to drop a kiss on her head and leaves the room.

I angle my chair so I can see out the window and watch the people and the cars fly by outside the hospital. After a deep sigh, I take my journal off the side table, open it and I start channelling all these feelings of love, hurt, fear and pain, oh the fucking pain and I start writing.

I walk through fire for you just let me adore you Sweet creature, You'll bring me home We haven't spoken since you went away

I just wanna tell you something lately you've been on my mind We'll be alright

Loving you's the antidote Just a little bit of your love Same lips red, same eyes blue

All my recent thoughts and feelings fill page after page.

Gem and I are quietly eating shitty hospital sandwiches when Dr Mills enters the room. "You're both here, that's good" He says as he looks at us then at mum. I sit up straight in my chair, but honestly I'm not expecting much, just the same answer of "no change" to come out of his mouth.

"So we just received the results of the most recent round of tests" he pauses looking down at the charts. "And I'm pleased to say, we are seeing an improvement with the swelling on the brain. We are considering reducing the sedation starting tomorrow" Gem and I look at each other matching tears streaming down our faces. "Does...does this mean she's gonna be okay?" I sniffle out.

"It's looking good so far, Harry" Dr Mills replies with a relieved smile on his face. I drop my head into both hands and sob. Mums coming back to me, to us. At least that will heal part of my broken heart I tell myself. I let out a huge sigh of relief and jump to my feet, I round the bed and grip Gem in a crushing hug.

"Go home you two, get some decent sleep and I'll see you tomorrow morning and we can hopefully start trying to bring your mum round" Gem and I are twinning with enormous wide grins on our faces. As I hug Gem again I whisper "she's going to wake up"

I'm happy right now and the only person I really want to tell and talk to doesn't want to hear anything from me.

I'm sitting across from Gem on the sofa eating my 1st proper meal in 2 days, we had grabbed Chinese when we left the hospital earlier tonight.

I'm suddenly very tired, the lack of sleep and all the emotions the last 2 days are now catching up with me.

"I might actually get some sleep tonight Gem" I say round a mouthful of noodles. "I know the feeling bro"

I climb into bed an hour later, hair still damp from my shower and I stare at the blank massage I have up, I'm working up the courage to text Louis before sleep pulls me under.

H- Lou, please can we talk? x I wait patiently and nothing.

H- It's nothing like you think Louis. Please believe that x

And again no reply. I'm desperate for any kind of reply so I send one last message.

H- I was telling you the truth Lou, the Nick thing is nothing and yes I'm in love with you. We got some good news about mum today and the 1st and only person I wanted to tell was you. I need you Lou x

I lock my phone forcing myself to put it down on the bedside unit, I can't keep watching and waiting for no message to appear.

I roll over and almost immediately fall asleep.