Getting Away From Him

Serene~P.O.V~

The next couple of days went by so fast. I had came up with the best routine possible for myself and kids. I would cry in the shower and tried to be happy so my babies and unborn didn't have to suffer with me. Today was the day we were going to have the viewing and after the burial. I was low key stressing but kept the appearance of being cool and collective. I hadn't let anyone stay over anymore, I need to make a new routine for myself and kids. Having anyone here around the clock wasn't going to allow me to have a new routine. I had to learn a new way with them being here. As I got all the things I would need for my boys just in case in an emergency. I was dressed pretty simple. I had my boys in their red and black checkered flannel with their beanies on and jeans. It was a chilly day and I didn't want them getting sick.

(These are our outfits.) after we were done I loaded my boys in the car and got everything else inside. Bones decided to ride with me. I didn't argue with that. He must've sensed that I wasn't going to be ok alone. Once we arrived to the funeral home for the viewing everyone was outside waiting for our arrival. As soon as I parked, Bones got out and helped take out the boys' stroller and helped me load them in. Good thing is that they were well fed and changed. So they would be asleep for a good amount of time. I made sure I had everything before we walked up to the doors. Some of the guys held the door for us. I sat right up front and couldn't stop staring at them. They looked as if they were just laying there napping. My thoughts were interrupted when Diesel's parents came up to me. The mom didn't look pleased to meet me. "So your the one he had twins with?" Taken back from her tone I held myself together. "Yes, I'm his wife and kids' mother. I wish we could've met on different circumstances." She rolled her eyes and the next thing she said I wanted to throat punch her.
"Hmm, so what now are you expecting us to pay you every month for kids that we don't even know are our true blood? Do you even know for certain that my son was there father?" I took a deep breath and thank goodness for Bones.
"What did you just say?" She turned her head so fast she was stunned. I had to show everyone that I was capable of defending myself. "It's ok Bones. And no my kids don't need any kind of payment of relationship with you guys at all. We were fine before and we will even now. My kids have their mother still, so no thank you and can you please have a seat I'm here to see my husbands and say goodbye one final time. Thank you." And with that I pushed the stroller to the caskets and pulled a chair to sit in the middle of them both. I had them laying where their heads of their caskets were next to each other. I sat there not wanting to loose my control. So I sat there in silence no one came up to me after that. Everyone came up and said their farewells and sat back down. I had wrote something to say. Once the funeral director said his part I got up to say mine.
"Thank you all for being here. I wish we came together for different circumstances. I wanted to leave here today remembering the good times we had instead of just crying and being broken hearted. Nothing will ever be the same. Everyday I forget that they won't be walking through the door. Normally Diesel be walking through the door all upset and Vince behind him shaking his head. Hahah yeah it was always like that everyday after church. Diesel would be so grumpy for having to be up so early. The last day i was with my husbands, I had just had a relaxing day with them. We were lounging at home pretty much all afternoon. Our baby boys were so well behaved that day. Damian would always love how his daddy Diesel would let him nap on his chest and Damone would be the same with his dada Vince. It breaks my heart that they won't remember or experience how life would be if they were still here. All the fishing trips, camping all the first fathers experience with their sons. But babes just know I will try to do all the firsts you guys would want to do with them. It won't be as great as you would be doing it but it'll be a experience all right. Hahaha I love you both so much and even with the shattered heart I'm here left with I have to remain strong for our boys and unborn child. I will never forget you both and love you guys so much." After that I walked back to my seat between them and cried into my hands. Bones came up to me and hugged me into him. After the viewing we were outside at the spot they both would be at. We had them next to each other. After everything everyone went to the club house. My boys and I stayed home. I didn't want to be near anyone.
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Three months later......
I was heavily pregnant and my boys were 8 months old. I was in 20 weeks along. So far just one baby. I was going to find out the sex of the baby today. Life wasn't easy, I had a few melt downs. So far it was ok. I was busy running the household and I would take my boys with me to the shop and do all the paperwork and invoices and payroll. We had income coming in from our businesses and the life insurance the guys left behind. All the club members and their old ladies would be here on a daily basis. Which I never mind at all. They helped me with the yard work things I couldn't do from being so pregnant. I felt huge like I was with my boys. Bones went back home to his club and family. I was leaving my boys with one of the old ladies. Her name was Gaby. She was so sweet. She was one of the main ones helping me. Since she doesn't have any kids, her time is always open. Once I arrived at my appointment, I sat in the room waiting to be checked. The dr finally came in and of coursed ask all the basic questions. Mid sentence she stopped talking, I looked up at her worried. "Is everything ok?"
" ummm, yeah. So you see here?" She said pointing to a blurry spot. "We'll that's baby number 2." I was so in disbelief I was lost for words. "Ok, so I can see by the measurements that baby 1 will be bigger than baby 2. Baby 2 here has a strong heart beat as well and also measures slightly smaller but is doing great. I need you to eat a bit more." I just nodded my head while the tears flowed out of my eyes. "Do you want to know the sex of them?"
"Yes of course please. Can you see what baby2 is as well?" I said in between sobs. "I can definitely see that she's just fine." I gasped omg I'm having a baby girl. Then her proceeded to say, "well she will be good she's coming with her bodyguard of her brother." I was so happy I now will have 3 handsome boys and 1 princess. Vince would've gone crazy knowing we're having a baby girl as well a baby boy.