Fasaana | फसाना | فسانا
:a tale; a romance; a fiction
Zoya had spent her entire life adhering to societal and parental rules, feeling trapped like a bird in a cage. But what happens when she decides to shatter those restrictions and soar freely?
Al...
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Ask me what I learned from all those years, Ask me what I earned from all those tears.
*******************
Zoya felt someone had punched her in the gut. Her husband, her supposed partner who had promised to be with her in sickness and in health at the time of the nikah, was out shopping with another woman instead of accompanying her to the doctor’s appointment to check up on their unborn child.
Tears had brimmed in her almond-shaped eyes when Rizwan’s gaze fell on his wife. An expression of shock came on his face for a second before the woman beside him spoke. “Babe, do you think we need anything else for our movie date?” She asked while dropping a few packets of popcorn into their shopping cart.
He immediately removed his eyes from Zoya and cleared his throat. “Take whatever you want.”
The woman smiled and looked around one more time before picking up a bottle of Nutella. “I think I am done.” Rizwan nodded and gestured towards the billing counter.
A few tears fell down from Zoya’s eyes. She didn’t know what hurt her more, the fact that her husband was cheating on her for God knows how long, or that he didn’t even find it important enough to stop when she had caught him red-handed.
She wanted to march up to him, scream at him, slap him. But could she do that? Obviously not! She didn’t have enough confidence or guts to do that. And even if she did, then what? Rizwan would surely kick her out of his house. Where would she go then? Back to her parents? Would they allow her back? She wasn’t sure.
So she sucked in a deep breath to control her emotions and walked out of the store.
____________________
That night, Rizwan came back on his normal time. Zoya served him water. He drank it, and then she waited for him to speak something, anything that would acknowledge what happened today, what she saw today. Maybe apologize to her and promise that it would never happen again. But he just looked at her and said, “Why are you standing here? Serve dinner, I am hungry.”
Silently she turned her back and went towards the kitchen, but before leaving, she heard him mutter useless. She put the chicken gravy in a serving bowl and took it to the table. He had his dinner and went to the room. After he left, she sat on the table for the longest time with a million thoughts running in her head. Was she not even worthy enough for him to at least acknowledge what happened today?
Over the next few days, things worsened. Now that Zoya knew about his extramarital affair, he felt no need to hide it. So he started openly talking to his girlfriend, whose name Zoya had come to know was Laiba, on phone and text messages. Zoya had never felt more humiliated in her life before. The house had become a jail for her, she felt so suffocated there. Her stress level had increased and her health had started to deteriorate.
She was doing laundry one day when she found a lipstick stain on Rizwan’s shirt. And she cried, probably for the hundredth time after finding out about the affair. She used a brush to rub off the stain as she kept sobbing at her miserable condition.
It was just after lunch when Zoya felt a strange pain in her abdominal. But it subsided seconds later, so she didn’t pay much attention to it. But it returned, along with a severe headache. By late afternoon, she knew that something was wrong with her. She couldn’t even breathe properly and was in no condition to go to the hospital herself. So the best option she could find at that time was knock on the door of her neighbor. Her neighbor was a kind lady who took her to the hospital immediately and also called Rizwan to inform.
The last thing Zoya remembered before passing out was her neighbor trying to get her in an auto. And the next time her eyes opened, she was lying on a hospital bed, and her mother was at her side.
“Ammi,” Zoya whispered out.
“How are you feeling now?” Kausar Qadri asked her eldest daughter.
Zoya nodded her head slowly, since her headache had not completely subsided.
“I will let the doctor know that you are up.” With that, Kausar walked out and returned with Dr Neelam.
Neelam checked her vitals before sighing. “I had asked you to take care of yourself. Your BP had shooted up. Do you realize what could have happened if your neighbor didn’t get you here on time?”
Zoya stayed quiet and palmed her belly. Over the past weeks, she had kind of forgotten about her child, only focusing on her marital issues. But her child shouldn’t suffer for the sins of its father.
After giving Zoya tons of instructions, the doctor went away.
“Is everything okay?” Kausar asked while sitting on the bed.
Zoya didn’t say anything.
“I am asking you something.” Kausar spoke again.
“Where is Rizwan?” Zoya questioned.
“He had an important meeting, so he called your father and asked us to come to the hospital.” Zoya’s parents lived in the same city, but she hardly ever met them because Rizwan didn’t like it. Not that her parents ever complained about it either. They believed that whatever the son-in-law said was right.
“Things are fine between you and Rizwan?”
“No, ammi!,” Zoya snapped, “Things are not okay. He isn’t busy with any meetings, he is busy with his girlfriend.”
“What?” Kausar gasped.
“Yes, he is cheating on me.” A sob left Zoya’s mouth.
They both stayed silent for a while, only Zoya's soft cries were audible.
"When did you find out?" Kausar finally asked.
"About fifteen days ago. I saw them with my own eyes."
Kausar held her daughter's hand and gave it a little squeeze.
"What am I supposed to do now?" Zoya whimpered.
Kausar frowned. "What do you mean by that? You're not supposed to do anything. Just pretend it never happened and live your life that way you were before."
Zoya looked at her mother in shock. She knew that her mother would not revolt against it, but she also didn't expect her to be this cold about it.
"Don't look at me like that!" Kausar said, "I am not a heartless mother who doesn't care about her child, but you also have to understand that leaving your husband is not an option. You know about your father's income, and you have two younger sisters who are yet to be married. Who is going to accept them if they'll have a divorced older sister?"
Zoya humorlessly chuckled. From childhood, she had always been taught that she had to think about her sisters before doing anything. Don't be friends with boys. What will people say? Who will marry you and your sisters? Don't wear short dresses. It'll attract eyes. Your sisters will also become their target. In fact, Zoya wanted to do MBA, but her mother didn’t let her, and got her married as soon as her graduation ended saying she should marry early so that they have enough time to save up for the marriage of the next daughter, who was five years younger than Zoya.
The conversation between Zoya and Kausar ended, when her father, Mahmood Qadri, entered the room. He had gone to settle the hospital bill. Zoya was discharged in the evening. Her parents went back to their home after dropping her off at hers, leaving her in hell to fight all her demons alone.
But this time, Zoya promised herself to stay strong. For her baby. For her child would not suffer for the sins of its father.
