𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭
Her past haunted her. Her future loomed like darkness. She wasn't prepared for all of this. After all, she was just Estelle, the Star Summoner.
(Siege and Storm/Ruin and Rising)(Nikolai Lantsov x oc)(First book in the Sa...
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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Sturmhond
Estelle fidgeted with one of her rings as she paced back and forth in the small room they'd given Nikolai to prepare in. He sat silently, staring at the ground on a single table, the only other furniture being a chair pushed up in the corner.
"Why are you pacing?" he asked.
"I'm thinking."
"About?"
"What do you think?"
"I'm not sure."
"I'm trying to convince myself that you will not die tonight, Nikolai, so please. Stop. Talking." Her voice wavered at the end. She could see him looking at her with an expression that showed he wanted to comfort her, but he didn't.
A knock on the door signaled their time was over to prepare. Nikolai hopped down and started toward the door. When he noticed she just stood there, he glanced back at her. "Aren't you coming?"
Estelle shook her head. "I can't. I can't watch. I won't."
Nikolai frowned. "Estelle, you've seen me get into fights before."
"Yeah, with men your size. This man is twice that. Did you see his opponent at the end of the other match? He couldn't walk." All of a sudden, the collected calmness she'd felt going into the plan had unraveled and now the only thing left was a doubtful, shaking mess.
He gave her a look and she avoided his gaze. Nikolai sighed. "Alright, you can stay here. Just...try not to worry too much."
"Easier said than done," she mumbled dryly.
—
Estelle was worrying.
All the possible things that could have gone wrong, went horribly wrong in her mind as she listened to the roaring of the crowd behind the door. First, she tried to force herself to sit, but sitting only made it worse. She opted to pacing, fidgeting with her rings, her clothes, her hair.
She imagined Nikolai's limbs breaking, him getting knocked out, his opponent splitting his chest open with his bare hands. She wasn't sure how the last one would have been able to have been done without a Heartrender in the works, but there were no limits to her imagination.
Every time a cheer went up in the next room, Estelle had to force herself to keep the door closed. She told herself the best thing to do was not watch it at all. Maybe if she didn't see the bad outcomes, they wouldn't happen.
As if.
Brain damage, nerve damage, blood, broken bones, irreversible damage, the list went on. It wasn't that she didn't have any faith in Nikolai. It was that she was being realistic.
