Our Soul Connection

09| Self-Sabotage

For the first week, I remained uncomfortable with the situation. Classes had started back up, and Dorian had started meeting me at the cafe to walk me to class.

Every time I caught him staring, I would quickly avert my eyes. I didn't really speak to anyone, and what time that wasn't spent in class, I locked myself in my dorm and willed myself to answer his texts.

I spent the weekend with him because I felt like I was supposed to. We had multiple rounds of mind-blowing sex and went out to dinner to talk about what we planned to do after college. Me–I had no plans. Him–to continue with his job that I didn't bother to ask about.

During week two, I could physically see Dorian settling into the routine and becoming more comfortable around me. We were fucking every chance we got. I couldn't remember having sex with the same person twice since Niko, but I couldn't get enough of Dorian.

I never shared anything personal and he didn't push me to. He chided me, only behind closed doors, about being an asshole to everyone. He laughed at my snarky remarks and complimented my intelligence.

It was that week that I began to notice that he didn't speak to anyone outside of me. And those who spoke to him were brushed off with a cold shoulder that was very strange to see.

In week three, we were walking to class when Dorian's knuckles brushed mine. He kept walking and talking about the mundane things that we had resorted to. I slid my hand into his and he cut off mid-sentence to stare at me. I asked him not to make it a big deal, and he didn't. He kept walking, his fingers interlaced with mine as if we had been doing it all the while. I had stifled my small smile.

When we had sex that night, he laced both hands in mine as he was moving in and out of me, and while I thought it would make me uncomfortable, I reveled in it. After that, it became part of our routine.

By week four, I was starting to think that this whole thing wasn't so bad. I didn't have to share anything. I had unlimited access to sex anytime I wanted it without the hassle of parties and drinking. In fact, I hadn't been drunk in almost a month.

I had only blown up once at him for something stupid that I couldn't even recall. He apologized and I had planned to spend the next day alone. I thought I needed space until I found him leaning up against the cafe, coffee in hand, waiting for me. The way he pretended it never happened melted my resolve. He'd laced his fingers with mine and we fell right back into our routine.

It was Friday when I ran into Mia. Hands interlaced, Dorian and I were exiting the coffee shop and she was on her way in. "Athena?" She sounded like she didn't recognize me for a moment.

"Mia," I clipped. I tugged on Dorian's hand to keep walking.

"Wait!" She near-shouted. I turned around to face her as Dorian released my hand only to sling his arm around my shoulders. I could see in his facial expression that he was trying to pretend he wasn't here for this conversation.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just..." Her eyes flicked to Dorian who was now looking off in another direction. He was backing me up without speaking. Letting her know that we had places to be. "I'm sorry." She sighed. "I miss you. And I wish things had gone differently."

I waited for the anger to stir, the memory to flood my mind and make me feel rejected again, but it didn't.

"Mia, it's okay. You're busy and so am I." I wait for a response and begin to prepare myself to walk away again.

"Who is... who is this?" Her eyes returned to the burly man at my side.

"Dorian." He plainly replied. He lifted his arm from my shoulder long enough to extend a handshake. Mia lightly shook his hand and his arm immediately returned to my shoulder.