Gently into the good night

Chapter Three- Yes, I have messed up

OH MY GOD!! WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING? I kissed Alex Miller, worse Serena's boyfriend and the worst I was the girl he cheated on his girlfriend with . I'm not even that kind of girl, I'm that kind of person who trips over fake hair and flashes her embarrassing underwear to five hundred people "I'm so sorry Sarena, I re..really didn't wa..wa..wanna do any of it, I just....." I begin to say when Serena beckons me to shut up "You are such a desperate loser, I pity you for real. Can't you just stay away from Alex, he's mine, Okay? And I want you to get your filthy ass out of my house. Now!" she says and I can see the boiling anger in her, she would love to strangle me to death right now but there is something called law that's between her hands and my throat.

I feel the boiling tears flowing out of my eyes and I'm sobbing so hard I think I'm going die because of the insufficient oxygen supply in my lungs, I feel a rupture of a vein in my brain. "I told you to leave" Serena yells louder and I run out of the room as fast as I can, I feel so guilty how could I have been so stupid? As I run past her a feeling of humiliation runs down my veins. My cheeks are burning but this time of humiliation. I run down the stairs and right out of the house. I'm sobbing and all I know is I'm a bitch; horrible, miserable and desperate. "Amelia" I hear Jordan's voice and I feel I'm going to collapse. "What's wrong? Why did you just leave like that?" his eyes look at me demanding an answer "I'm such a bitch, how could I have done something so stupid?" I say and of course he has no clue of what I'm talking about. I see the perplexity in his eyes, he mumbles "What are saying?" I gulp, he holds my arm because he senses my shivers, I say softly "I kissed Alex and Serena saw me" Jordan's eyes widen and I feel he is going to just walk away thinking the same but he asks "Did you force him to kiss you?" I nod gesturing a 'no'. He pulls me to the car and makes me sit inside; he locks me in the car and walks away back to the house. What is he doing? He can't just simply leave me here to suffocate and die? "What are you doing?" I bang the window and my voice probably doesn't reach him as he shuts the main door behind him. I call Bethany. Her phone begins to ring "God, pick up" I shout at the rings and soon it reaches her voice mail "Hey, Bethany here. Sorry couldn't receive your call. Please leave me a message." Her recorded voice says. "Shit" I say hanging up. After about fifteen minutes I see Jordon coming back with Bethany. Oh , at least he didn't leave me to suffocate and die in the car. Bethany comes and sits beside me and says "Oh my god honey, are you okay?" Jordan drives and I explain the whole situation to her and by the time we reach home. "Why did you get this buffalo with you Amelia?" Paul says, I don't respond and run up to my room. Jordan comes running up with me while Bethany waits and says "Maybe we can have this discussion later, your sister just isn't in the best state of mind". I slam open the door and just fall on my bed, hugging my cushion and crying. "What happened?" Paul comes and says. I hear Jordan explaining the whole situation to him. "Oh god, Amy listen" Paul says forcing me up from my position and wrapping me in his arms "Listen, it's okay. You don't have to feel bad. We all make mistakes and the important thing is that you understood and admitted that you did something wrong. Now stop over thinking it, tomorrow morning call Serena and apologise to her .Okay?" I feel so protected and warm in his arms, it feels like the warm heat of a furnace on a blizzard night. "What if she doesn't listen?" I say "You have apologised and that's all matters, it means you are strong enough to admit your mistakes and let go of the hard feelings. I'm sure she'll understand. If she doesn't, well screw her." Paul says, that's what I like about him. He is optimistic in every situation and he is strong enough to deal with everything. I give a brief nod. "Take care honey, well I think I should be going home now" Bethany says "I'll pay you a visit tomorrow." She adds, she hugs me and then leaves. "Do you mind if I stay over?" Jordan asks "My parents thought I wouldn't come back till morning so they kind of locked the door and left for their own business." Jordan adds with a little hesitation. "Sure buddy, you can sleep in my room and I'll sleep here beside Amy" Paul says swiftly.

I go the bathroom and change and remove the little make up on my face. "All okay?" Paul asks. "Yea" I reply. "Now get some sleep " he says and shifts to the corner of the bed. I lay down beside him staring at the ceiling with empty eyes, still feeling horrible. Kissing Alex had been my fantasy since ages but now thinking about it makes me feel sick. "And Amy if you really accept your mistake and mean your apology then don't try to get Alex to talk to you. It might sound stupid but the best way to accept your mistake is by staying away from it. Anyways good night" Paul says.

Yes, he is right.