Gently into the good night

Chapter 21- Sing from the heart

 When I open my eyes the sun rays immediately blind my vision and I force it back close. I turn away from the window the first thing I notice is that Chris is not there, I keep drooling around the bed a little bit. I am kind of stuck between the junction of fully awake and fully asleep. The hypnopompic state feels like it has engulfed me for an eternity. I finally force myself to wake up and sit up straight. I am not even investing on sleep so it's just mere time waste slacking around like a bear waking up from its hibernation period.

Chris is nowhere to be seen. He isn't even in the bathroom. I wash my face and remove the grim with the help of a hot shower. I feel much fresher and when I am out I see him sitting on the bed reading something. He looks at me and smiles. I reflect his response in return. I go and sit on near the dressing table and start combing my hair, watching his refection through the mirror. He is starting right back at me. The butterflies are just everywhere from head to toe.

"Where were you?" I finally ask returning back to my senses which surprisingly exist.

"I went to get you coffee. My princess loves starting her day with caffeine" he says with a smile. I smile at him too wide. He knows me so well, he actually observes me so well.

"Thank you" I say and he gets up and walks towards me.

He cups my face gives me a short kiss on the lips. It might be short and all over the place but his kisses can never fail to give the butterflies a boost. He tells me he and Peter are planning to spend the whole four days practicing so that they can actually get a little exposed to the world. I know how much this dream means to him and I want him to grab the cloud he has been running after.

We go down for breakfast and he looks morose which is surprising. I don't say something as I try to ignore the millions of thought running through my head but I am just acknowledging them instead. His face doesn't change expression throughout breakfast.

"What's wrong?" I ask as we enter the elevator. He shakes his head brooding about it. I start tensing up and the before the paranoid Amelia starts speaking and stressing me even more I need to know the extract cause of this gloom.

"Tell me" I say meekly and he looks right back at me this time. He looks afraid. I recognise this looks. It's the same one he gave me when we first met and were on the train to Nottingham. He looks so unsure and so afraid. I want to console him and pull him into my arms but I can't do anything.

"What if I can't do it? What if I get rejected again? I can't spend my whole life singing in a bar and not being able to support my life and support us. I just need this so bad and I know everyone out there is practicing for this but I want it so bad" he says and sighs.

I hug him instantly burying my face into his chest, his muscular arms are around me.

"You can do it. I know you can. Stop doubting yourself, stop beating yourself up. Whatever happens it's going to be okay." I tell him. He buries his head in the crook of my neck as I gently rub his back.

It feels perfect here, this way.

~*~

"Do you think the wolves will be impressed by this crap? Chris, are you serious?" Peter says almost on the verge of melting down. They have been practising this extremely hard song but they couldn't harmonise it at all.

There are two more people in audition before Chris and Peter. I am starting to feel nauseous and I can feel my breakfast making an appearance.

Chris comes and sits beside me, his face is covered with his hands and I want to kiss him more than anything in the world. I want to tell him its okay and everything will be fine but how can I when I am not certain myself. He removes his hand taking a deep breath and holds mine with both of his and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach.