A Little Twist

Thirty-Eight

All dressed up, Risa knocks on Reiji's door. 

He opens it for her with Daiki in his arm. 'Was this a test, Risa?' He hands her son back. 

'Hi sweety, did you behave?' She kisses him. 

'He did,' nods Reiji while going back for some tea. 'Answer my question, Risa.' 

Did I test him? She thinks of it. 'No, you're awake earlier than the others. If possible, I'd like it better to have someone close to him when I go swimming instead of having him in the playpen at the pool. Do you see me coming out of the pool just to change his diaper?' She eyes him at the table making tea. 'Is it not a sign that I'm starting to trust you a little? I mean, so many things have happened in three weeks' time and it feels like I need time to process it all. However, I have to be a mother to Daiki. I'm trying my best for him but this is the first time for me being responsible for a new life. I'm scared that I might drop him, or that something will happen if I don't look for one second. He's sixteen days old today and relies on me for a lot of things. Sure you help too if you can, but he needs me the most.' 

Waiting for the water boiler to be ready, he pushes her towards a chair. 'Sit and calm down.' I guess she hides a lot more than I originally thought. She does carry a lot on her shoulders. Having Daiki is a blessing to her and it scares her at the same time. And then I go thinking she's testing me if I would take what I need for that test. I was wrong. I can't tell her that. 

'I love you, sweety, but this is a whole new world for me.' She cuddles with him. 'I'm sorry to talk about that so openly to you.' 

He disagrees. 'Don't be, I remember saying it's new territory as well when he was just born. I also remember some things about when I was younger and Subaru was born. Christa was afraid just like you are now. I believe it's normal to be scared of becoming a parent, but, Risa, you are not alone. Sure the father isn't determined yet, but we all help you. You're not doing this all by yourself.' No, I have to tell her. He makes up his mind. 'I apologize for thinking that you were testing me. All you wanted is safety for Daiki while you wanted to go swimming. I see that you value Daiki over anything else.' He lifts her head and sees some tears. She's more scared to do something wrong than being scared of us. 'Regardless of what will happen, I will always help you. All you have to do is call me, and I'll be there. That I'm not the father doesn't bother me.' 

'But you said that you're not ready to have a family.' 

Words that will haunt me, I'm sure. I shouldn't have said that. 'Even if both you and Daiki have been forced on us by our father, we got used to the idea of having a baby in the family. Then he was born and it changed everything.' He puts his hand on her belly. 'I will never forget how scared you were with your arms around that big belly when you saw us again. Scared and yet protective of Daiki. Ayato is right that you two have changed us somehow. Towards you, we're much more of a family, and we all accepted Daiki as our nephew, at least in my case. I would never force someone into my bed just to have a family. In my eyes, it's considered a scandal on the Sakamaki name. Maybe somewhere in the future, I want a family, but I have time and patience.' Yet, here they are. I wouldn't want to miss them. Then again, it's inevitable because once the father is determined, he might take them away from here. 'You have seen how we all act around you and the other girl. You have earned some privileges and we're considerate, respectful, and friendlier. Laito was furious enough to kill the girl for talking about Daiki. If he went through with it, it would take me and Shu to stop him. Kanato can't stand it either, that's why you hardly see him. He won't hesitate to turn her into a doll.'  

'So he does accept Daiki? He hasn't helped once or changed a diaper. I thought he kept his distance because the father wasn't determined.' She looks at Daiki, who fell asleep.