Through Unparalleled Seals

091

"Good Morning Rick!" something is wrong with Patrick These past few days, hindi ako sanay na halos wala siyang imik saamin ng mga kaibigan niya. "May problema ba?" nangunot ang nuo ko at ibinaba ang bag sa usual kong upuan.

"Wala naman..." nailing ako dahil alam kong hindi iyon wala lang, i've known rick since we were grade seven kaya parang iisang utak at galaw na ang meron kami.

"Nah bruh, what is it? the girls are also asking me what is wrong with you, hindi ka daw madalas makipag usap sa kanila."

"May Girlfriend na ako." simpleng sagot niya na parang sapat na iyong dahilan sa lahat ng tanong namin.

"And?" i shrugged, he introduced sam to us just few weeks ago. she is a stunner, ipinilig ko ang ulo ng umulit ang eksena ng pagkikita namin ni sam sa canteen ng school. hindi ko alam na girlfriend siya ni rick kaya halos pormahan ko na dahil nakita ko kung gaano siya kaganda.

I can't believe that I'm liking my best friend's girlfriend.

"They are making Sam Uncomfortable lester, alam kong nararamdaman mo rin 'yun. ikaw? if you have a girlfriend and your supposedly friends are making her uncomfortable in an unbearable way wala ka na bang gagawin? " natahimik ako.

our friends are just insecure ramdam ko iyon, sa unang pasok palang kasi ni sam sa school na ito ay agaw pansin na siya, bukod sa taga maynila ay mukang sosyal pa.

Girls think that she is trying to get boys attention and boys are falling for her beauty and talent. she's a bit snob though, parang si rick lang ang nagbibigay sa kanya ng kahulugan ng lahat. the way they stare at each other every lunch and the way rick loves to worship the path she walks through.

"I will Talk to them, they are still your friends rick. hindi mo naman pwedeng iwan sila dahil lang may girlfriend ka na." i saw his hands fist on his desk, i know i made sense to him.

"I know, I'm sorry..." i just nod, hindi iyon ang huling beses na nangyari iyon, hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ingit na ingit ang ibang tao kay sam. at first i thought that she is a typical girl, but when we got to interact more often through rick again mas lalo kong naintindihan ang pagkatao niya.

she's gentle and kind in her own way, my simple like became deeper and deeper. itinago ko iyon ng mabuti at pinilit na kimkimin habang magkakasama kami sa iisang grupo.

I saw their gentle love bloom from dusk till dawn, sam became Patrick's rock. minsan ay nagtatampo ako dahil may mas alam pa si sam sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ni rick kahit ako ang best friend.

the day rick died, everyone blamed her. gusto ko siyang puntahan kaagad at damanyan pero alam kong alam ng iba naming mga kaibigan na mag gusto ako kay sam. it made it more complicated. i received so many hate and opinions that i don't need.

ngayon ay alam ko na kahit matagal mo nang naging mga kaibigan ang ibang tao ay may masasabi at masasabi sila sa'yo.

i saw her at rick's funeral with her long brown hair for the first time after the accident. i can't see her eyes because she's wearing sunglasses hiding her emotions from everyone.

pinigilan ko ang mga kaibigan na magsalita, i'm just glad that rick's mom only give her permission to me to speak in behalf of rick's friends at school.

hindi ko napigalan ang pagpiyok sa mga oras na iyon, hidni lang ako nawalan ng kaibigan kundi kapatid. rick is my rock too, as person who is struggling from family conflicts rick and I are almost the same. doon kami mas naging malapit.

"Rick, thank you...for believing in me. if the situation were different even if im dying on my knees I'll give you my lung so you could breathe, brother. This is not the end of our journey you and I are still against the world until one of us is still living. I will carry your memories until the end rick. until the end..."

marami akong gustong sabihin, marami akong gustong isigaw pero tuluyan ng bumigay ang aking boses at lakas. instead of feeling the embarrasment infront of so many people, media, and even local radio broadcaters all i can feel is pain.

kahit na nakaalis na ang mga tao ay nanatili ako roon sa puntod ni rick, i sat down on the dirt and cried silently wishing to talk to him one more time. masyadong mabilis ang nangyari, one day nag paalam lang siya saakin na magbabakasyon at hindi na bumalik.

my chest is aching so badly I want to shout but I know that will do nothing. I wish to have one more chance to talk to him, to tell him my farewell but i know that i was impossible.

i carried all of my heavy thoughts for months, walang araw na hindi ako napapahinto sa mga ginagawa at naiisip siya kaya naisip ko na lumapit kay sam.

i thought protecting her from our friends will somehow lessen my guilt but the opposite happened. mas lalong nangibabaw ang pagkagusto ko sa kanya. I became more guilty, and our friends kept slapping that in front of my face.

para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig when i'm slowly realizing what is happening.

now i feel like dying inside, the guilt is slowly eating me alive.

i don't think I'll be able to find my healing just like sam thought I would.