no one loves to feel vulnerable. though seeing someone being vulnerable in front of you is, in my opinion, the greatest way of showing love.
ive been stuck in my head for so long, believing that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness when in contrary it shows pure strenght.
i was raised thinking i couldnt trust people, that i'd be on my own forever. i'd never accept the gifts they offer. i thought for so long i had to appear strong and careless.
this is all big fucking lies.
how can you trust someone deeply if youve never seen their vulnerable sides?
it is so fuckin hard for me to show the weaker side of my personality, it's become a bit excessive i must admit. i have the hardest time accepting gifts or favours. i've never felt as though i'd deserved these kind gestures.
i hate christmas,, why should we spend thousands of dollars on presents ?
i'd much rather get a random flower in the middle of winter for no particular reason.
i have been waiting, waiting for the day someone will look right through my piercing blue eyes. ive been praying for someone to fully comprehend me, that theyd stay attentive to my fucked up behaviours. to see them and to accept me with them.
i want to fully open up to someone, i want them to know every fucked up thing ive ever done. but i am a lot to handle so that tends to make people run away.
i cannot change the actions i did years ago but i definitely have grown from it. those life experiences made me the person that i am now. i wouldnt wanna change that.
i want to feel vulnerable for the right one.
