its been a few days since ive last uploaded to my blog. so here's an update; i have no goddamn clue of what happened the past few days.
i mean sure i get random flashbacks and partly remember the important events. as a third party though. i never seem to remember things in a first person point of view, i always see myself doing the things i "remember" doing.
weird thing is i feel grounded most of the time, so i expect to remember things as vividly as i experience them. my brain disagrees. i black out for days. i have no idea what ive said or done.
sometimes, it feels like im not myself. i cant recognize who i am. do i even know who i am?
remember the little voice in my head i told you about? lets call them Klem. so Klem has been louder lately. theyre talking to me more coherently, less of just random words and more of sentences. i cant really seem to be able to communicate with them, but they surely arent shy to let me know what they think. Klem has the same voice as me, just a very different way of expressing themselves. they often make comments on what im doing or what other people are doing or saying.
they have a very "i dont give a fuck" attitude. theyre funny as fuck too. to me at least. they say the most random shit. their self confidence is much higher than mine. they dont care about what people say of them. they take a lot of space amongst other peopl, they know about it, and they love it.
i feel thats not entirely me. sure Klem and i have a lottttt in common. but i care about what people think of me. i dont want to take too much space.
maybe Klem is just my alter ego after all. the bad bitch in me or something.
i just wish i could know when Klem shows. if they do show? i assume they do because i cant remember shit. how do i know when im not myself?
ok ok what if im just imagining all this too? i cant be on that level of craziness. can i?
