HER || [Chaerji]

{20}

Chaeryeong's POV

Yeji is acting so strange suddenly, it makes me feel like something wrong is going to happen or maybe, happening.

Or is this her way of showing me her weak side?

She's been resting her head on my lap for minutes, quietly. Both of us just stayed in silence but it didn't feel awkward. Well, at least I don't feel that. Her presence somehow... comforts me.

A few more minutes passed by and silence had creeped up the whole place, she didn't even budge a little which made me curious whether she fell asleep. Her face was facing the side so I had to lean forward a little to check on her.

I was mesmerized with a soft gasp by her cold, yet pretty-looking face. She's just cool. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to have drifted into slumber already.

Sometimes I wonder what's in her mind. Yeji is one who wouldn't share anything with anyone. However, I can still tell that she's struggling a lot and many things are bothering her, because look, who frowns so hard in their sleep? What is it that's disturbing her?

Leaning back, I laid my back against the sofa. Then I thought for a few seconds before I placed my right hand on top of her head, caressing her hair slowly and gently from up to down repeatedly.

"I thought of a story to tell you." she suddenly uttered, making me flinch a little. Should I retreat my hand? "Y-Yes?"

"Would you listen?"

"Tell me, Yeji. I will listen to you."

I waited for her to speak, but was taken aback when she leaned her head further in against my hand. Is that her way of telling me she likes it? Is she requesting me to keep stroking her head like that?

My heart beats faster than usual, heat rising on my cheeks, I'm guessing there would be an obvious pink shade on it.

"I was an orphan since I was a newborn. I was left in an alley, until someone found me late at night, crying. He brought me to his territory and I grew up living there. I was the only girl there and everyone was so caring. The man was the most caring. He acts like he's my biological father.

My training started when I was 4. I was trained to defend, to fight. Everything went great, we protected our village from intruders. I remember being sent for my first hit mission at the age of 12. It was for vengeance, a group attacked us and stole one of our valuables. The 8 years of extreme training did pay off well, I still remembered how he was so proud of me.

The day when I returned to the village was the day my life had a slight change. On the journey back home, I found a small girl lying on the roadside, looking quite dead. Maybe she was about to die, but I insisted my brothers take her home with us.

The girl was injured. Her calf had a wound that kept bleeding, though it was not that deep. Father and I had tried searching for her family, but at last, we were told that her parents had been murdered. Father told me to give her away to someone since during that time it might be dangerous for her to stay, and he's afraid that we may not be able to raise another child. *chuckles softly* I can still recall how I kept asking him to let her stay, and I promised I would protect her very well, I will keep her by my side. I begged so badly for his permission, kneeling on the ground for hours, for days...

He eventually agreed and we somehow held a ritual-like event, where we burn a mark on her skin. All of the members have the same mark, including me. It symbolizes unity, and that we'll always find each other no matter where we are, that we will never be apart.

4 years later, I was 16 and she was 13. We were always together and as I promised, I kept her by my side and ensured her safety. We were comfortable with each other's presence. However, things didn't go as well as I thought they would. I failed to protect her."

I didn't expect she would tell me so much but this means she trusts me, right? I felt concerned hearing the whole story, my strokes on her hair became more gentle, and I wanted to comfort her in the best way I could.

"What happened? She died...?"

"I thought she was. But turns out she wasn't. She got taken away by someone, I've tried searching for her in the first few years, but I heard she's gone. That's when I realized I lost her." Yeji replied, shifting her body position to lie more comfortably on my lap.

"You loved her a lot, don't you?" She faced me when I questioned.

Her eyes looked into mine, this time it wasn't a pierced gaze, it seemed quite... soft.

"I guess I do," she spoke tenderly, eyes still locking on mine, staring dearly. I felt my heart skip a beat. It was like she was confessing to me. But she wasn't.

Well, I wished she was.

I swallowed my saliva, putting my silly thoughts aside and I asked, "Have you found her at last?"

"I have. Just recently," she uttered. When will she break eye contact? I'm feeling a bit tensed and I feel like my heart would burst at any second, it's racing so fast. I can't believe she could have such a big effect on me... "But I'm failing, again."

"Hmm?"

"I've failed. I was given a choice but I couldn't... protect her."

She startled me when a drop of tear slipped out of her eye. More of it was threatening to flow but she suppressed herself not to. She was still looking at me and I didn't know what I could do, or say, to help her from this situation. I feel so helpless. "Yeji... I—"

"Sorry," she muttered, her gaze looking at me so sincerely like she was apologizing to me. I frowned seeing this sight. Yeji soon wiped her tears away and acted like she didn't just cry seconds ago.

"It's late. You should get some rest." she sat up and got off of the sofa.

As she was about to go, I took hold of her wrist. "Hey..."

"What?" she looked down at me, waiting for me to speak. There, there. She's being her usual cold self again.

I stood up and looked into her eyes. It's not very comfortable for my head to stay in this lifted position just to face her but it's okay, I like it this way.

"Are we just going to stand here all night? If there's nothing you want to say then I—"

I tip-toed to hug her.

"You don't have to be sorry for tearing up, Yeji. I'm glad that you trusted me and opened up to me. Sharing your thoughts with someone is a good way to vent. If you ever need me again, just call me and we can sit here to talk. I'll be happy to help you, Yeji." I spoke softly, close to her ear.

I took the chance to hug longer, knowing that I wouldn't get to spend many moments like this with her. But of course, I wouldn't go overboard. Loosening my arms that were wrapped around her nape, I lowered my feet back to the ground.

About to step back, I was surprised when Yeji pulled me close to herself. Her left hand slipped under my hair to grip my nape, not tight. She led me in and leaned her face close to my left ear, uttering low yet whisper-like:

"I want to protect you. But I can't."

I halted, my eyes staring blankly. She took a step back and walked away, Yeji left me alone standing as she entered her room.

My brows knitted into a frown. What does she mean by that? Is that her way of rejecting my feelings because there's that girl still in her heart? No, it feels incorrect. I don't think she was implying that.

What does she...? God, she's so confusing.